


Part of Your World

by AgeOfRogues



Category: Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom, Mass Effect
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Dragon Age/Mass Effect crossover, F/M, Mass Effect/Dragon Age Crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7812613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfRogues/pseuds/AgeOfRogues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adaptation is a key to survival.  But what if you are from a world of swords and magic before being thrust into an age in space with strange weapons shooting light and flying metal birds?</p>
<p>Merrin Trevelyan needs to adapt to survive.</p>
<p>Kidnapped from her home as she flees from a fallen Mage tower in Ostwick, she is attacked and finds herself in such a world, being rescued from such a metal bird owned by slavers, by a dark haired angel and his friends in oddly made armor and weapons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Don't Think I'm in Thedas Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> So, this idea came to mind one night several months ago after reading a fic where the crew of the Normandy crash-land on Thedas after the Crucible does its damage at the end of ME3. Within the Dragon Age Universe, it starts just before the beginning of Dragon Age Origins, but I can't find it and it makes me sad! If you guys know the story I'm talking about, please let me know so I can give credit where credit is due!
> 
> I created Merrin Trevelyan just for this story. I hope you enjoy!

Part of Your World - Chapter 1: I Don’t Think I’m in Ostwick Anymore.

_ “Tell me another story about the Shepard!” _

_ The old Stargazer chuckled at the young one’s enthusiasm and excitement.  “It’s getting late, but okay.  One more story.” The elder’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration for a moment before their eyes lit up.  “How about a story about the Shepard’s biotic brother and his lady love from another world?” _

_ “Will there be fighting?  Or just mushy stuff like the last story?” _

_ “Both.  Now, do you want to hear the story or not?” A small head nodded furiously. “Very well.  Do you remember how the Shepard’s tale began? What I didn’t tell you was that the crew of the Normandy picked up another shortly after Shepard became a Spectre…” _

~//~

Everything burned.

From top of her head to the tips of her fingers and toes, her body ached and burned like the fires cast by mage hands.  It didn’t help that the forest she was stumbling through was hot and humid by itself. What was its name?

Merrin Trevelyan tripped over sticks and stones as she moved from tree to tree, the bow and quiver slung across her back bumping against her rear as she attempted to escape the foliage that seemed infinite around her. The shade from above was periodically broken by beams of sunlight showing in the mid afternoon. When she felt a sudden chill make its way through her body, it was a sweet relief in the summer heat and humidity. But when her body continued its shaking, sending a vibration through her with a frightening intensity, she paused. It was more than just a cooling chill. 

She closed her eyes and she collapsed against the closest tree, sliding to the ground because her legs were suddenly unable to hold her up anymore. When she opened her eyes once more, she looked around the forest, but had to close them once more when everything was spinning around her. Something was definitely wrong.

Using her hands, Merrin took off her leather gloves with her eyes closed, lifted her chainmail and began untying the length of cloth she had wrapped about her waist, gingerly removing it from her wound and wincing when some of the cloth pulled away from the skin without letting go completely, sending more pain flooding through her body and adding to the already constant ache from the lack of Lyrium. The singing returned, stronger than ever when her mind focused on the pain from her wound instead of fighting against the tune. 

Gently, Merrin pressed her bare fingers to the sides of the wound and cried out in pain, noting distantly that it felt warm and swollen as well as painful. ‘ _ Oh Maker, it has become infected.’ _ She thought to herself before reaching for her Templar skirt and tearing off another length of cloth to bind her wound. Days had passed, but it looked to have not healed at all, even with her increased healing.

She knew better than to use dirty cloth - she normally would have used clean cloth over a properly applied health poultice. But as she wandered the forest, avoiding the road to keep herself safe, she found very few elfroot plants that would aid her healing. What plants she had found had been days ago and was likely gone from her body.

Merrin sighed, even as she continued shivering, when she felt a cool breeze blow over her sweat-drenched brow. What a mess she found herself in now. Not only was she injured, but the withdrawal symptoms she had read about Templars having when they quit taking Lyrium had begun days ago, adding to her concern and desperation to reach the Inquisition by any means necessary. 

It had been years since she had spent any sort of time with her younger cousin, Tanwen - when she had been engaged to Lord what’s-his-name, she had been forced to leave her Templar training to court the man. Then she had become pregnant, or so her brothers told Merrin, and now she was the Inquisitor, leading the faithful in a holy war to end all holy wars. She wanted to be part of that now that there was no circle for her to be in.  She just had to get there without dying. 

Perhaps Commander Rutherford would be willing to help her get past the withdrawal! The thought gave her a small amount of strength. 

Gloves back in place and wound tightly bound, Merrin cracked her lids open and experienced no instant wave of dizziness or nausea as she used her arms to pull herself into a standing position against the tree and leaned against a low-lying limb, panting for breath. She started to take a step back in the direction she had been heading but stopped when she felt her legs wobble under her. 

Merrin wanted to growl in irritation as she continued panting, looking for a thick limb to use as a crutch.  She had to get to Cumberland, to Jader.  To Skyhold. She could do this. 

Scanning her surrounding, Merrin saw a limb on the ground that looked like a crutch a short distance away.  Surely she could at least walk that far. 

Merrin took two steps away from the tree she had been using as support and collapsed. She felt a growl rumbling in her gut after she cried out in surprise and pain, motivating her to reach forward with her arms, stretching them out as far as she could and gripping the dirt and decaying leaves and grass, managing to pull herself forward.

Inch by inch she crawled her way to the branch on the ground, her goal looming before her. Merrin nearly wept when her right hand wrapped around the thick branch. Somehow, she found the strength to push herself up, digging the bottom of the stick into the ground to pull herself into a standing position. 

One foot after the other.  One step at a time. “Come on, Merrin.  You can do this.” She told herself, limping her way along the path she set herself. Her mantra lasted for a long time, pushing her further through the forest despite her shaking knees.

As Merrin stumbled towards Cumberland hours later, now even further into the confines of the Plansene Forest, she could feel her body weakening once more. She looked down at her waist and saw through her slashed chain mail that the already dark colored fabric she had just replaced, was darker now - more blood loss. Had she reopened the wound when she had pulled herself up to standing? That had to be what happened, but because of the lack of medicine to close said wound, lack of food to replenish her energy and the growing song screeching in her ears from her Lyrium withdrawal, she was fading again.  

She felt sleepy and the dizziness was returning, both symptoms bad for her, but one was worse than the other. Added to that, while she was an excellent hunter, she was starting to think that she was lost within the Forest, having lost sight of the road ages ago. Its trees didn’t quite follow the normal means of the trees she had been trained to study.  There was no moss to point north, no mushrooms, the sky could barely be seen through the thick canopy - nothing that could help her figure out where she was or what direction she was heading.  Not the ideal place Merrin wished to find herself in in her current situation.

A heavy sigh escaped her parched lips and looked over her shoulder and in the direction from which she had come, the horizon long since past, now blocked by miles of trees. If only stopping in Kirkwall had been an option for her when she had passed at a distance all those days ago. She would have taken ship at the volatile city-state’s port bound for Jader before finding a mode of transportation there to Skyhold. 

Unfortunately, being the epicenter of the rebellion meant that Templars were likely still unpopular in the ancient city. This caused her to have a large target on her back because of the flaming sword on her chest. Add to that the fact that she was injured and weakening by the moment, she would also have a scent that the predators of the city would focus on over others and she wasn't ready to die yet.  She had to get to the Inquisition.  They could help her, heal her.

Merrin closed her eyes and focused her hearing so she could relax and hopefully heal on her own. As she sat there amidst the smells of a healthy, albeit hot and humid, forest, she could hear the jingling of two pieces of metal in the distance, a flutter of paper on the wind. She opened her eyes and looked around to see signs of elves here and there in the flattening of grass, small broken branches on trees from their Aravel passing by, and some kind of charms hanging from sacred trees that she recognized from stories she had heard in the tower. They were placed on the trees to invoke good health for the forest.

Merrin panted  as she lifted herself from against the tree and dragged her armored toes through the dirt of the forest floor once more, sweat trickling down her temples and the back of her neck from effort and fever.  Would the elves be willing to help her, an injured human?  Or were they hostile in this forest? She just didn't know, but wanted to try.  She didn't want to die in the forest.  She didn't want to die at all.

She hadn’t gone more than a hundred feet before she stopped next to a particularly large tree in a small open area, and sat, suddenly exhausted once more. She obviously wasn’t going to get any more travel done until she had gathered more of her strength.

“I’ll just rest my eyes for a moment.” She told herself as her eyelids fell.

~//~

_ “Another circle has fallen.” _

**_“GO! NOW!”_ ** __   
  


_ Merrin looked up from the transcripts brought to her desk by a group of new mages before she sent them on to Johnnes. Her cousin, Rhys, stood before her with his armored arms folded over his chest. A look of deep concentration and concern shadowed his eyes. _

**_“RHYS! ARRYN! GET OUT EVERYONE OF HERE WHILE YOU STILL CAN! THAT’S AN ORDER. I’LL DISTRACT HIM THE BEST I CAN.”_ **

_   
_ _ “Rhys, our circle is one of the most peaceful in the Free Marches. You need not worry.” _

**_Blood.  Pain. Screams._ **

**_“GO NOW!”_ **

~//~

Merrin woke with a shout.  She looked around, unseeing, as fear embedded itself in her heart like a burr in cloth as memories of the time after Ostwick’s Circle had fallen rushed through her mind even after waking. She placed her head in her hands, wanting to cry but trying her hardest to slow her breathing and ease her heartbeat.  With the wound in her torso, Merrin knew she could ill afford a raised heartbeat and increased blood flow. 

Goal achieved, she looked up again and gasped. What felt like just a few moments of sleep, had been several hours.  Night had fallen around the area she had rested in and a cool breeze was rustling the branches of the trees above. Chattering of night creatures and insects filled the night air, a calming sound in her riotous mind; she felt her body begin relaxing to the heartbeat of the trees and the soil.

Beyond the boughs of the canopy, stars covered the sky in an awe inspiring display - the peaceful view interrupted periodically by shooting stars.  Merrin sighed as she pulled off one of her gloves and lifted the back of her hand to her forehead.  She still felt chilled, her forehead was still warm and she ached, but she was feeling better than before.

A loud pop from above drew her attention skyward again.  The falling stars were more constant now, which was odd to Merrin, but the Maker worked in mysterious ways.

When she heard an odd sound that had nothing to do with the nature around her, she closed her eyes to focus and listen. It had metallic undertones for sure, but was constant like a scream. Was it a dragon? Had the moon, Satina, fallen from the sky? Some sort of rock thrown by a trebuchets? No, it couldn’t be a trebuchets. Kirkwall was at least a two day walk from where she now found herself and she knew of no other villages or cities nearby other than Cumberland.

She opened her eyes and looked up towards the canopy of the forest in confusion as a large flaming  _ thing _ soared across the sky in a streak of light and a ear-piercing roar, smoke trailing it that was even more black than the night sky behind it.

BOOM!

A loud crash accompanied by the sound of breaking trees echoed throughout the area, forcing the trees around her to sway like being pushed by a powerful wind. Without warning, the ground shook so heavily - it was as if the planet was angry and lashing out. She almost fell back to the ground from her seated position because of the abrupt movement.

It sounded as if a monstrous creature had fallen to Thedas. If it was a dragon, she wanted to see it. Being in the tower and only able to leave for short amounts of time, she had never seen one of those majestic creatures, but wanted to ever since she was a child and had learned about them in classes with Revered Mothers and Templar Knights. Merrin paused, thinking about one Mother in particular. 

Merrin shook her head as she gingerly grabbed for the tree limb she had used earlier. Dwelling on the past would only bring about painful memories. Now was not the time to go down memory lane. She attempted several times to rise, but her legs just wouldn’t hold her up. Merrin growled, grabbed onto the side of the tree and finally lifted herself into a standing position, only wobbling once.  She could feel the muscles in her legs twitching in weakness, but she shook it off as best she could and walked in the direction she saw the smoking creature soar.

It was some time before the trees in front of her thinned enough to see moonlight eek its way to the ground, indicating that there was a clearing ahead.  When she reached the edge of the forest, she gasped.

There was no clearing.  By Satina’s bright light, she saw that the forest that had once been, was now pushed to the side like a stick dragged through dirt, a deep groove in the middle that looked to be nearly as long as the Ostwick's Circle was tall, if not more. She had to squint her eyes to see what lay at the far end because of the lack of sunlight.

She wished she hadn't.

The large object that she had seen cross the sky, looked like a bird and now lay at the base of a new hill that was created in its abrupt meeting with the ground. It shone eerily in the moonlight, meaning it was made of metal, glinting like a shield.  But she had never seen or heard of a creation made of so much metal. The only beings that could create such a thing were the dwarves, but they rarely came above ground because of their traditions with coming to the surface. With it's wings stretched wide, it looked like a metal bird.  But surely she had been imagining it flying through the air - perhaps she was hallucinating the whole thing thanks to the Lyrium withdrawal.  Metal objects of such size couldn't fly, it just wasn't possible.

When she saw movement around the outside of the metal bird, she squinted again to see who could have come up with such a monstrosity, but couldn't make out anything but that they wore bulky garb of white.

With the white clothing came a thought to Merrin. If they were all in white, perhaps they were surgeons or healers.  Could they help her? At least enough to get her to the Inquisition? It never hurt to try.

The snap of a twig on the forest floor behind her had her spinning to face he who would try to sneak up behind her, causing her head to spin and her legs to go off kilter. Her instinct told her to draw her bow and notch an arrow, but with her injury, she was lethargic and weak and merely flopped in mid air before catching herself with the crutch.

Focusing back on the being before her, she felt her eyes grow wide and a scream to bubble in her throat as she looked upon the creature before her. She watched as it raised a strange weapon and felt suddenly and oddly calm as it descended on her temple, causing the whole world went black with a sharp pain in her temple.

~//~


	2. Savior of the Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is real? What is just a figment of her imagination brought on by fevered imaginings? Merrin just doesn't know any more. And as she grows weaker from injury and Lyrium withdrawal, she is quickly coming to terms with her inevitable death despite meeting a strange new friend.
> 
> But who is this man who has drawn her attention from the bliss of the void after so much pain? Why can't she seem to take her eyes off of him even as they wish to droop? Surely he was a spirit of redemption sent by the Maker to send her from this misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two out of three updates done! On to number 3 :D

‘ _Is it time to get up already?_ _Why does my head hurt? Maker’s Breath! Who is pounding on my door?'_

Merrin stirred slowly, but stopped when the pounding she thought she was hearing, shot pain through her head and side, causing stars to flash behind her eyelids as memories assaulted her waking mind.

_ Ostwick circle - fallen. _

_ Tortured mentally for Maker only knows how long. _

_ Injured protecting those wanting to escape the violence in the tower. _

_ Rhen and Arryn - safe. Hopefully. _

_ Mysterious metal bird crashing in the forest between Kirkwall and Cumberland. _

_ Darkspawn in armor of white? _

She opened her eyes a slit, but quickly closed them when nausea and dizziness overwhelmed her. What was the creature in armor she had seen before being, blessedly, knocked out? When she tried to move her arms, they did nothing. Perhaps she should just go back to sleep - she didn’t seem to be in danger even though she couldn’t look around her. 

When sleep didn’t immediately arrive, she studied the room without opening her eyes. The cold, hardness against her cheek made her think of a sheet of metal of some kind. She made a grunting sound when her wound sent a bolt of pain through her and she used the sound to figure out the size. When there was no echo, it showed that she was in a small room. 

She must have fallen asleep because a distant knocking woke her with a start.  Merrin opened her eyes, prepared for nausea again, but was relieved when everything was normal. Bleariness met her until she could blink it away.  When she did, she focused on a window filled with blue glass that was one solid sheet and  _ undulating? _ That was strange, which meant she either was hallucinating, or she hadn’t cleared her vision enough. Glass rarely came in solid sheets because of the costliness of it, and it certainly didn’t  _ move. _ Outside the space she found herself in, Merrin saw boxes in various shapes and sizes, all seemingly made of materials she couldn't identify. 

Gently, she tried to bring her arms from behind her back to her front to push herself up from her stomach so that she could get a better look at her surroundings, but couldn’t. Merrin twisted her wrists slightly and discovered that she was cuffed at the wrist, but the shackles weren't iron. They were lighter and had sharper edges than any style of iron cuffs she had ever encountered. Merrin struggled weakly with her binds, but she only managed to hurt her wrists more when the shackles cut into her flesh, and her side with her movements.  She could feel a small amount of blood trickling down her wrists and the drip… drip… as it fell to the ground next to her.

Where was she? Merrin looked at her surroundings with clearing vision and found that she was, indeed, in some kind of metal box that was much bigger than she had expected with a darkened metal grate on either side. Who had taken her?  _ What  _ had taken her? Had it been those beings in white? She remembered seeing human-looking people of white in the distance.  But when she had turned to face someone that had come up behind her, she had seen a Darkspawn the likes of which she had never heard of or seen before. But that couldn’t be right.  The Blight was over and had been for over a decade. The vision she had seen had likely been brought on by delirium from her withdrawal, or blood loss, or something. It had to be one of the two, because there couldn’t possibly be such a creature as what she thought she saw in the forest clearing. 

Merrin puzzled over the sense of calm she remembered feeling as she watched the creature’s black stick descend on her head, followed by black. She focused on her memory the best her sick and sluggish mind could as an image flashed past her vision, causing Merrin to flinch at the pain it caused in her temples and she closed her eyes. It hadn’t been white robes as she had thought, but blue and white armor of some kind. The creature itself that she thought she had seen, had had two sets of void-black eyes, brown leathery skin, four sets of nostrils? Merrin felt fear bubbling in her stomach, waiting to burst forth and consume her, fueling her limbs as her flight reaction activated. She definitely did not want to see that creature again.

She had to get out of... wherever she was.  She had to get to the Inquisition. She needed to find her bow.  She -

"So you're finally awake, human."

Merrin's focused on the direction the low gravely voice had come from. At first, she didn't recognize the grunting sound. But after a moment, it was spoken again but in a language she could understand. 

On the other side of the blue glass stood the creature that had attacked her and Merrin let loose the scream that had built in her throat. It hadn’t been a hallucination or blood loss-induced delirium. The creature was real! If she had been able to move, she would have moved as fast as she was possible to a back corner of the room as the sound echoed. As it was, all she could do was twitch her limbs. Merrin felt her body shaking, as it had with the fever, and her blood running cold while her screaming continued, unable to take her eyes off the creature.

The first set of the creatures eyes furrowed as it resituated the thing in its arms, grabbing something that looked like a handle tighter with one hand and further up with the other. "Stop your screaming human, or I will stop you myself and you won't like my methods."

Merrin’s screams were silenced by his words and she stared at the creature wide-eyed and closed-lipped.  Rolling to her left side, she managed to scoot herself back until she was against a wall and pressed her back as far into it as she could, never taking her eyes off of it. She started gasping for breath. She couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t she breathe? She still had her voice though, though not as strong as it had once been thanks to malnutrition, injury, and fear. "G-g-get back, d-demon... I don't know how it is you are speaking to me... but I will not listen."

She heard the creature growl as it lifted the odd looking stick in its arms to its eye and pointed it at her.  "No one calls me a demon and gets away with it."

"That's enough, Tearn. You don't want to scare the poor girl.  That will come later when we sell her."

The creature grunted. “I’d almost be willing to buy the human myself just so that I could.”

“What have I told you about purchasing the merchandise requested by our very wealthy Patrons?”

Her ears twitched when she heard another male voice, this one smoother and slightly higher with just a hint of smoke. The same strange process occurred where the strange language was spoken before repeated in a way she could understand. The creature glared at her once more before lowering it's oddly shaped stick and moving out of her line of vision. Merrin felt herself begin breathing again. In its place walked a human male wearing the same armor as the creature and Merrin felt her body calm, but her mind was on alert at his words.

"Please, ser.”She croaked feebly. “Free me of these Darkspawn.  I can tell that you work with them and for that I am sorry for the predicament that caused you to work with the blighted creatures.  I am but a simple woman, just trying to get to the Inquisition's Keep." Merrin used the cold wall behind her and one of her elbows to push herself up into a sitting position, her side burning fiercely but she grit her teeth and ignored it as she rose to her feet and stumbled over to the clear barrier between her and the male. Before she could lean against the glass, she tripped over her own dragging feet and fell. The man just stared at her.

"I have no idea what you are going on about, lady. You're pretty and all, but you don't seem to have many brains up there in your head, or the ability to walk it seems." He smirked, but there was no joviality in his gaze, as he tossed his head to move his collar-length sandy hair from his face.  "I am Adelous Mann, leader of this crew of the Blue Suns.  You are now my property and will be promptly sold to the highest bidder as an alien from a Council-protected world."

"Ser Mann, surely you must be mistaken.  I am not... what did you say?  Alien?  I am human like you.  I am from Ostwick of the Free Marches, surely you have heard of it." Merrin ran their conversation so far through her mind the best she could in her current situation. The Blight must be affecting him more than it appeared. None of his words made sense to her!  Blue Suns?  The sun in the sky was quite yellow. And what was this Council? She understood the word, but the way he said it, he made it sound like it was a hated faction. She focused on his other words about being sold to the highest bidder.  He didn't look it, but it was obvious he was from Tevinter, or a slave trader that worked there.  "As for your other words, I am no slave."

An evil grin formed on his lips, darkening his already dark eyes.  "You are now, sweet thing. Or will be soon. Best you should get used to it.  You aren't the only one in our hold. Just the newest and the one with the most questions, despite how weak you appear. Now, you just keep laying there and shut up.  We still have a long way to go."

"What do you mean?  A long way to go?  I am going nowhere with you, you cad."

"You think so, huh? You are in no position to be making declarations. Where do you think you will be going?" She watched him cross his arms over his armored chest and lifted his head to direct her gaze as he looked over her shoulder. "I'd love to see you try and escape."

Merrin sat once more and turned to look where his eyes were cast, thinking he was mad. But slumped backwards into the blue glass, only to immediately cry out, her back bowing involuntarily, when she received some kind of painful shock the moment her body came in contact with it. It felt as if she had been struck with a lightning bolt cast by a mage.  

Once she recovered, Merrin looked up at the back of her cage and saw... light.  Pale blues and purples were flashing by faster than she could blink, even some colors she had never seen before and couldn't describe. Every so often, she saw pinpricks of white beyond the bright colorful lights.  The view gave her the impression that they were moving, but there was no shaking and rocking like with a carriage or rhythmic bouncing as with a horse. 

_ 'I don't think I'm in Thedas anymore...'  _

The thought flit through her subconscious before she realized something about this whole situation that she hadn’t considered before. Usually, when something can't be described, it was based in or made of magic. Merrin tensed, focusing her Templar arts. This must be the work of a Mage casting a blood magic spell, or perhaps a demon. She froze as another thought came to her. Was she still in the tower and those who had taken over the circle were still torturing her, using blood magic to see things that weren’t real? She wanted to be sick, could feel the acid bubbling up in her stomach at the thought. She turned to the man staring at her from beyond the glass and glared at him.

"Mage.  Why have you captured me?  Let me out of here, or by the Maker, I will make you sorry. I will escape this blood-magic induced nightmare and hunt you down." Inside, she knew her words sounded tough, but when it came to Mages that had dark intensions, forceful words were needed as much as actions.  Unfortunately for Merrin, she only had the former since her arms were shackled together and she felt her strength was all but depleted..

The man named Adelous laughed, loud and dark. "Oh, you are going to make us rich, little girl. Rich!" And with that, he disappeared from her limited view.  Merrin collapsed where she stood and closed her eyes, focusing her breathing.

Slowly, she opened her eyes again, taking in every inch of the doorway, walls, ceiling - anything that might give a means of escape. This might be a dream, but it didn’t mean she had to lay there defeated, waiting to lose her mind to the delusions set upon her by another. Other than the door and the window, there were no bars, no panels, just seamless walls with inch wide holes in sets of three on either side of her prison as grates.  

With no way of judging the passing of time, it felt like hours later when someone came to her cage.  This human was older, with graying hair and laugh lines around his eyes and blue and white robes. He carried a tray with strange looking bars of silver on it, as well as a vial with clear liquid in it.

“Help me, please.” She whispered, but the man didn’t seem to hear her as he went about his work. 

First, he unwrapped her wound, none too gently, and tossed the cloth aside with a sneer of disgust. She inhaled and understood the why of the look he made.  Her wound was smelling of decaying flesh and she wanted to gag, and would have vomited if there had been anything in her stomach to evacuate. He flicked his wrist and an orange light emitted from his arm. 

‘ _ MAGE!’  _ Her mind screamed at the same time the sound erupted from her. Merrin thrashed and squirmed as she tried to escape the seemingly harmless man before her, but all she managed to do was open her wound and leave a blood streak along the floor to show the little distance she had managed to attain.

The man grabbed her foot and pulled her back to him. “Stop yer squirmin’.  Ye’ll just end up hurtin’ yeself more.”

“No! Unhand me!” 

No matter how much she tried to escape, it was painfully obvious that he was stronger than her and he had her held down with his knee on her chest next to his tray again in no time. This was  _ her _ dream.  Shouldn’t she be in control? This had to be a nightmare. “I didn’t want teh do this, but ye give me no choice, lass.” 

Merrin mused that he sounded like he was from Starkhaven as she watched him grab for the clear vial with a needle on the end and hold it up to the meager light, flick it with his index finger, before grabbing one of her elbows from behind her back enough to reveal the crook of her arm.  The man hastily raised the cloth sleeve of her padded undershirt, revealing tanned skin to his gaze. Merrin watched, helplessly as he inserted the needle into her arm and he pushed the ringed plunger down. 

When he finished, he raised his knee from her chest, but by then, a lethargy stronger than what she had experienced in the forest had overcome her and she felt her eyelids closing like rocks thrown into a river that were allowed to sink to the bottom.

~//~

"Hey, new girl, are you okay?"

Merrin woke up, screaming again. The nightmare she had experienced about the tower overpowering all her other senses for a time. When the screams stopped, both in her head and from her lips, she brought her hands up to keep from getting sick.

It was a moment before she realized that her hands were no longer bound and she pulled back, looking at her digits in shock.  Her injured wrists were also wrapped in a white cloth, as well as her waist. She looked around for anything else that appeared different, but only saw a pile of silver bars stacked on a tray near the door. Merrin thought back to the nightmare. Could someone have a nightmare within a nightmare?  Was that even possible?

“New girl, are you alright?”

She looked around from her horizontal position on the ground for the strangely accented, feminine sounding voice, but saw no one. Was she hearing voices now?  Was this part of her mind slipping from lyrium withdrawal?  The nightmare she found herself in earlier before losing consciousness because of the man in white and blue robes? No, she was hearing no imagined voices.  Whatever was happening that caused things said to be repeated from the other peoples strange languages into something she could understand, was getting faster.  This time, it only took a couple seconds.  She saw no one. "Who's there?"

There was a pause. "My apologies.  My translator didn't recognize your language, so it took a moment to translate. Look at the grate in the wall next to you.  They lead into other cells, including my own.  Are you alright?"

She turned to her uninjured side to focus her voice down at the opening.  "Who are you? How do I know you aren't just a voice in my head?" She whispered.

"You don't, but I can assure you that I am not.  I am not even of the same species. My name is  Seema'Ray nar Adima."

"That is unlike any name I have ever heard. From what country do you hail?"

She heard the person chuckle, noticing how the voice was layered somehow. "Adelous must have been telling the truth about you being an alien from a Council-protected world. I am Quarian. All of us have names similar to that."

"Qwar-eean? I have never heard of a Qwar-eean. Are you from across the Amaranthine Ocean, Seema'Ray nar Adima?"

The person chuckled again. Was she really that entertaining? "I have never even seen an ocean. I was from a ship, the Adima.  But I left the Flotilla to go on my Pilgrimage before returning with something of immense value to give to the captain of the ship I wished to join the crew of. But then my ship was captured by Adelous Mann and his Blue Suns group. Now we are to be sold into slavery."

"That won't happen, I promise. Once my strength returns, I will make sure of it.” Whether she was telling the truth, she didn’t know. She had never gone through withdrawal before and she had never felt so weak. “What can you tell me of this Flotilla? Adima?  You sound as if you are from a naval people."

Merrin listened as Seema'Ray talked lovingly about her tight-knit culture, how when she turned seventeen, she was sent on a journey from the only home she had ever known in search for a gift to give to the captain of the ship she chose to join.

"What lands were you trying to get to, Seema'Ray?"

"Anywhere.  Any space port, any planet.  Any system.  Just as long as I can find something of value."

Merrin was only half listening, feeling suddenly exhausted all over again, her mind still sluggish until something clicked in her head at the female’s words. "Space… port?  What do you mean?"

"We're in outer space.  Traveling faster than light to... I don't know where. Probably the Terminus system."

"Outer...space?"

The woman on the other side of the wall was silent for a time. Merrin was about to ask her if she was still there when the woman finally spoke. "When you were on your planet, did you ever look up at the sky? Stare at the stars and wonder?"

"From time to time, yes."

"That's where we are. Speeding away from your planet faster than it takes light to reach you from the star, or stars, your planet orbits in space."

"You... you must be mistaken. This is all just magic. I’m sure that I will wake soon from this magically induced hallucination and fix everything." Yes, she had looked up at the sky in wonder, who hadn't? But it was impossible for anyone to actually be up in the sky!  They would have to have...wings. 

Her ‘nightmare’ had taken a decidedly frightening turn.

Merrin moved away from the holes the best she could. She managed to lift herself to her hands and knees to scurry to the back corner of her cell, away from the voice. She brought her knees up to her chest, gritting her teeth through the pain in her side and hugged the Templar plate she still wore to her heart before closing her eyes.  She recited scripture to calm nerves that were feeling more and more like a taut bowstring by the second. This had to be a nightmare.  It just had to be. If it wasn’t, that meant this Seema’Ray was telling the truth and that just couldn’t be!

"The one who repents, who has faith, Unshaken by the darkness of the world,  She shall know true peace... O Maker, hear my cry:  Guide me through the blackest nights.  Steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked.  Make me to rest in the warmest places.  O Creator, see me kneel:  For I walk only where You would bid me.  Stand only in places You have blessed.  Sing only the words You place in my throat... In the long hours of the night  When hope has abandoned me, I will see the stars and know Your Light remains..."

Merrin paused in her prayers, ceasing the rocking she hadn’t realized she had been doing, and looked up to where she could see the colorful lights. Even now, through the flashing bright lights, she saw stars and felt calmed after reciting her prayer.  The Maker was in those stars and He was with her, His light remained within. She could make it through this nightmare. The Maker as her witness, she'd make it through this.

~//~

When she was conscious and without being able to see the sun, Merrin lost all sense of time within her cage. 

Three times a day, they brought trays to her ‘room’ that had the same clear vial as before that they would insert into her arm and she would sleep. Merrin thought she remembered this happening three times, but she couldn’t be sure. One time during lucidness when they came in with their tray of silver bars and needles, she thought she heard Seema’Ray shouting something at them through the grate between their cells, but everything was muddled and blurry.

The one good thing about constantly being unconscious was that she wasn’t experiencing any of the negatives of Lyrium withdrawal.

One day, she found herself laying on her back next to the grate leading to Seema’Ray’s cell. “Seema’Ray nar Adima?” She managed to croak, her voice sounding as if it had been unused for a long time, but burning as if she had been screaming non stop. 

There was a scuffling sound from the cell next to hers, as if someone was crawling across a hard surface. “New girl!  Are you okay? What has been going on in your cell?”

“What do...you mean?”

“They have gone into your room every day and I constantly hear screaming from you. They also told me to keep an eye on you.” The sound of concern in her voice was touching.

“Nightmare.”

“What about when you’re quiet?  What have they been doing to you?”

“Clear vial… in arm…”

Seema’Ray was quiet for a time before she spoke again. “Have you gotten sleepy whenever they do this?”

Merrin nodded before remembering that she couldn’t see the other woman, meaning she couldn’t see Merrin. “Yes.”

“Those bosh’tet!”

“What?”

Seema’Ray sighed. “Don’t worry about what I said.  They have been keeping you asleep for the past week. Why, I don’t know.”

Merrin had heard of practices where people were kept asleep because they were either prisoners or they were injured. Since she was both, it was hard to say. “Injured.” she managed to say past parched lips. Her tongue felt like it was filling her mouth and her stomach was growling fiercely. It had definitely been a week since she had foraged for food in the forest outside Cumberland.

Her companion must have heard her stomach growling. “Do you have protein bars in your cell?”

“Protein bars?”

“Silver packaged bars.” 

Merrin tried to look around, remembering seeing them brought in with the vials they used on her, but couldn’t see them in her immediate vicinity and hadn’t the strength to move around to look. “Used to. Don’t see now. What...are they?”

“Food.” Merrin’s stomach growled again at the word and she whimpered.

Merrin woke with a start.  When had she fallen asleep? Dimly, she heard banging on a door, thinking it was in her head at first before she realized that it wasn't. 

"Wake up, you waste of a human.  We will be dropping from FTL shortly and it’s your stop."

She hadn’t been able to ask anyone who visited her cell anything because they kept her asleep.  When she had woken those few times, and had been close enough to Seema’Ray’s cell grate, she tried to ask questions, but they had been disjointed and hadn’t even made sense to her.

Merrin somehow managed to turn towards the voice, seeing the creature from before and feeling the same fear in her mind and heart, but her body made no reaction. "Where are we?"

The male from when she first woke up inside the metal bird looked at her, all four eyes focusing on her. "Every time I have seen you since we picked you up from that Neolithic planet, you have asked asinine questions. If it had been up to me, human, I would have killed you on the spot instead of bringing you with us. I despise humans for everything your race has done to my own. Be happy that we don't drop you off on some molten planet or open the airlock with you inside.”

Merrin groaned and turned away from the door weakly to face the window at the back of her cell. She watched as the light she had seen before faded like fog when the sun reached its mid-morning height, replaced by dark sky pin pricked with white. There was a jerk of the walls around her and she felt her body bounce from the force. 

"Seema’Ray?  What happens?" Merrin called out to her neighboring captive in a shaking voice. If it wasn’t for the sudden shaking and everything else she had been going through as of late, she would have had a more commanding presence. She hadn’t become second in command for nothing - but this weakness showing in her body and her voice hard to get past. 

"I believe we are either docking at a space station or we are being boarded.  Hopefully we are back in Citadel-space and it's a Turian cruiser or an Asari dreadnought. At this point, I would even be happy to see an Alliance warship, though I know very little of the human race."

"More humans?" Hope fluttered in her heart at the idea. Perhaps they would help her get home! She used the last of her strength to roll to her back and turn her head towards the door to her cell.

Merrin wanted to get up and go to the door to catch the attention of whoever was coming aboard, but when a long, sharp staccato sounded, like many small pebbles being dropped into a metal stew pot in rapid succession, she was glad she was too weak to move.  The sound was too fast.  She listened to the frightening sound, feeling the fear in her heart that she couldn’t show, that was followed by shouting and screaming from above and below outside her cage, before it was suddenly eerily quiet; as if the air around her was devoid of all life. This caused her adrenaline to spike with her fear, causing lightheadedness even as she lay unmoving on the floor.

Next door, where Seema’Ray had been kept, Merrin heard scuffling and muffled talking but couldn't make anything out. She worried after her friend, thinking the worst and she had been hurt while Merrin lay prone and unmoving on the floor. Merrin wanted to call out to the other woman, but her voice refused to come forward. 

After a few minutes, heavy footsteps could be heard on the metal floor as a group of, what sounded like three people, walked with even and measured steps towards her, as if in a hurry or with purpose.  She huddled closer, praying her friend was okay, praying that she survive whatever or whoever had come.  When the first person came into view, she saw it was a nearly bald human-looking male holding an oddly shaped stick akin to that of Adelous's and the Batarian, Tearn’s, but painted black like his armor.  On the left side of his black chestplate, in red and white, was 'N7', whatever that was.  

When the man stopped and turned to her cage entryway, Merrin sluggishly noted how his body was so large, it took up the entire door frame. When she focused on his face, she saw a scar leading from his right eyebrow up and into his hairline. Blue eyes shone with kindness, unlike Adelous Mann or Tearn, when he looked at her before he cast his gaze to the right and lifted his hand like her captors had. Merrin tensed, remembering the shock the shock she had received when she had just arrived when the Batarian’s hand had been in the same position.

"Alenko, can you hack this keypad?  They put some kind of weird algorithm on this one and it's above my knowhow, mister tech expert." The man looked over his shoulder to cast his words to someone to his left. Merrin calmed slightly at the sound of his voice. It was deep, soft and kind, just like his eyes. She watched as he turned his whole body to face the right side of the doorway the same time someone passed behind him. This Alenko person must have arrived at the wall next to him.

"Come on, el tee.  What's taking so long?" Merrin cast her gaze around for the woman whose voice she had just heard, but found nothing.

"Hacking into anything set up by the Blue Suns is a challenge for any tech genius.  Not because it's particularly challenging, but because it's a mess. The coding makes no sense and the algorithms are horrible. I don’t know how they get it to work." The large man and the female voice both chuckled at the other man’s words.

Merrin's eyes widened slightly at the second male voice when a foreign, but not at all unpleasant, feeling trickled down her spine and into her belly.  This male’s voice was deep like his leader, but raspier, like he had spent too much time around a fire with thick smoke. The sound washed over her like a Summerday breeze from the very top of the Circle tower. The joking tone to his words directed towards his fellow humans made her smile for the first time in weeks it seemed, however weak. 

A second later, the blue glass was disappeared as if it had never been, and Merrin tensed.  _ ‘MAGIC! MUST DEFEND SELF.’ _ Was her immediate response.

When the male with the scar entered first, followed by a dark haired female, both wearing armor and carrying the black sticks. The female was pretty, with her flawless bun at the base of her skull, dark eyes, and flushed cheeks in her white and pink armor. When a second male, likely this Alenko person the first male had called for, entered her cell, her attention was drawn and held to him for reasons unknown to her and she studied him.

Merrin normally had to keep herself from giving away too much about what was going on in her head as she monitored the mages as a Templar. But as weak as she was, her face showed no emotion as it was. It was her heart that she feared they might be able to hear, showing her interest in the newcomer. He was one of the most handsome men she had ever seen.  Granted, she had met many men that women would, and had, announce as being attractive within the Chantry and the Circle in the form of both Mages and Templars, but she had never seen them like she was seeing the second man before her. 

Chocolate brown eyes passed over her and she saw them narrow an infinitesimal amount before returning to a passive mien. His black hair was short and perfectly coiffed, and he appeared to be of slender build. Perhaps he was a rogue like her?  

But, as with his two companions and the Blue Sun's men, they all carried oddly shaped sticks as if they were weapons. The first two carried larger sticks than Alenko, who had a smaller, L-shaped implement in his hands.  

Merrin felt her heart pick up it’s rapid beat once more and the temperature in the cell become blessedly warm, finding herself unable to tear her eyes from the male, ignoring their strange weapons. What was going on?  She had never had any form of reaction to the males she had met before.  Why did her body seem to be reacting to this one? Was she becoming feverish again? Or had she already been and it was getting worse?

Her gaze was interrupted by a black gloved hand waving in front of her face. She slowly blinked as she looked at him once more, seeing a broad smirk gracing his firm looking lips and crinkling the skin at the corners of his eyes, before turning to the waving hand before her. The first man’s face had lit up in humor, as did the female. Was it because of her inability to quit staring at Alenko. Their joviality was gone in an instant as concern engulfed their features. 

As the leader put his weapon away, Merrin’s body jumped and tensed when she watched it actually  _ fold in on itself _ , making it smaller as he put it away at his back as an archer would their bow. She watched him with racing heart and widened eyes as the first man crouched before her to be closer to her eye level as she lay on her back. When the female and Alenko did the same, she wished she could slink back as far as the wall would let her. Her limbs started shaking.  _ Who were these people with the odd armor and the magical sticks? _

"My name is Malcolm Shepard. We are with the Alliance military. What's your name? Are you alright? What colony are you from?"

"M...my n-n-name?" Maker's breath. When did it suddenly become so cold? Gone was the heat she had felt at the arrival of Alenko and Merrin already missed it. The cold she felt now must be what was causing her words to stutter and her body to shake as well as her weakness. Merrin felt sweat fall down the sides of her face as she began panting harder, her heart beat going impossibly faster. What was going on? In a matter of speaking, she had been doing fine earlier.

She saw all three sets of eyes grow wide and Merrin wondered if whatever it was that had been assisting her with the languages she had experienced thus far was doing the same for them as it had with Seema’Ray.

"Shepard, she's going into shock. Look at how blown her pupils are." Alenko murmured as an orange light erupted from his left arm before he walked forward to crouch next to her. Something was definitely wrong with her.  The last time she had seen someone do that, she had flinched and reacted negatively, thinking the person had been a mage. She wondered the same of this man, but no reaction occurred from her. He moved until his head was in her line of sight. "May I do a diagnostic scan?"

Merrin just stared at him.  A what? Her features must have somehow shown confusion, because Alenko clarified what he meant. "May I check you for injuries, miss...?"

She slowly blinked several times before his question processed fully.  "T-Trevelyan, Merrin Trevelyan." This earned her a soft smile on his intriguing lips and she felt her shallow breathing hitch. Or maybe it was just her imagination. 

"Merrin.  That's a pretty name.  Where are you from?" Alenko waved the orange light over her, but she couldn't figure out how it was supposed to check her for injuries. When he completed the pass over her body, he looked at the inside of his wrist, seeing something she couldn't, and frowned.

"I-I was b-b-born in T-t-Tevinter."

"What planet is that on?" He asked, his voice soothing as he gently gripped one of her wrists. She felt her heartbeat racing still when he applied pressure to her pulse point. Alenko turned to his companions. "Help me get her feet elevated so I can get her stabilized."

"Th-Thedas."

"Where is that?  I've never heard of Thedas before. May I check your right side, Merrin?" She sluggishly nodded again as the other two moved her around until her heels were propped on a small box, raised above the rest of her body.  She hummed when she felt warm, gloveless fingers pull at the belt of her armor and removed it before moving the tattered leather and chain at her side so her handsome caregiver could see her wound. "My God. Has anyone been caring for your wound, Merrin?”

Merrin wanted to shrug because she really didn’t know the answer to his question, feeling her eyelids drooping and feeling like she could relax.  She felt a hand on her shoulder shaking her and she knew that she should keep her eyes open, but she was so hungry and so tired.  She just wanted to sleep for a few minutes to gather her strength.

"Come on, Merrin.  Keep your eyes open for me." For a moment, she was confused why Alenko’s lovely soft voice was sounding distant and muffled.  She wanted to follow it so she could continue listening to the tone.  But with a sigh, blackness claimed her once more.


	3. Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you're new an unfamiliar world, the best way to integrate yourself to ensure your survival is to have friends. They make things so much easier and can be just the Maker-given blessing you could ever ask for.

Kaidan looked down at the slight woman before him with concern, then turned to Shepard. "Request to return to the Normandy, Shepard. We need to get her to the med bay ASAP, before she goes into cardiac arrest. Do you still need my help?"

"No, I'll just call for Wrex. You take care of our new guest." Shepard turned to the side and stood as Kaidan moved forward to gently pick the blonde woman up in his arms, surprised by how light she was, before standing again. How long had she been on the ship?  Had they been feeding her?  He quickly scanned her cell and saw protein bars still in their wrappers piled neatly against a wall next to the door. From the number of bars stacked, and what little he knew about the slave trade, it had to be at least a week. They certainly had attempted to care for her wound, in a manner of speaking. Empty Medi-gel packets were wadded up and in a pile next to the bars. As he turned to leave, he saw Ashley pick up a bow made of a light colored wood and covered with strange markings, looking at it intently with a hint of confusion. Shepard put a hand up to his ear to activate the coms to the Normandy. "Joker.  Notify Chakwas that we have a medical emergency coming aboard and send Wrex to the Blue Suns ship."

Kaidan heard Joker's confirmation in his own ear as he quickly and carefully carried Merrin through the halls of the slavers ship to where the Normandy had docked at the airlock after disabling the slave ships engines.

Back on the SSV Normandy, Kaidan hurried down to the crew's quarters and over to where Chakwas' med bay lay, carefully laying Merrin down on the same bed that he and Ash had put Shepard on after Eden Prime. Chakwas hurried over and began examining the woman while Kaidan simply stared down at her. There was something arresting about her, he decided.  With the blank look gone from her eyes and facial features in her unconsciousness, she looked soft and dainty even though she was clearly malnourished, causing her cheekbones to become more pronounced.

He continued a visual scan, noting that despite her face looking soft and dainty, the rest of her body from her shoulders down was toned, like that of an infiltrator. Her metal and leather armor was unlike any he had ever seen. Leather pauldrons covered both shoulders and were buckled to a leather and metal breastplate. Said breastplate was emblazoned with an image of a sword, handle side down towards her waist with the blade ending between her breasts, with curved lines emanating from the blade and covered a nearly flat chest. A pair of thick leather gloves covered her hands and forearms. When he raised her right sleeve past her elbow, he saw track-marks in the crook of her arm. Had the slavers done this to her? Or was she a junkie coming off a high, thinking she was an alien from a world they had never heard about and made up a language to throw off their translators? 

He looked at her flushed face again and saw no signs of prolonged substance abuse, so that meant that they had been keeping her sedated or on some kind of medication. Kaidan moved the chainmail that lay across her flat stomach and looked at the long slice in her skin that was bleeding through the gauze someone on the Suns’ ship had applied.  The leather and metal chain that covered her middle was torn, but not beyond repair.  He caught a glimpse of toned stomach muscles around the bloody gauze and felt his own clench in desire at the sight. He immediately chastised himself.  She was injured, sick, and unconscious. He would control his reactions to her.

A length of blood red cloth was wrapped around her hips that draped down to cover her backside, ending at the back of her knees and her legs were encased in tight leather pants that left little to the imagination, cupping her lithe legs in all the right places. Absently, Kaidan returned his gaze to her face again and reached up to push her thick white-blonde bangs out of her face and behind her pointed ear with his still armor-clad fingers. He watched with fascination as gooseflesh formed at his touch over her neck despite being unaware of the world around her. 

‘ _ Must be my biotics.’ _ He thought to himself.

"Kaidan."  His head snapped up at the sound of his name, seeing Chakwas looking at him expectantly. Kaidan felt a blush form on his cheeks at being caught staring at an unconscious woman and he quickly dropped his hand. No matter that it was meant to be more of an examination and that she was dressed in archaic armor, he still felt like a voyeur. "I need you to go so that I can examine the wound in her side.  In order to do that, I have to remove her oddly designed armor and doubt it would be appropriate for someone other than her doctor to see her in her undress. We don’t know what she has on under her armor."

"Yes, Doctor Chakwas, you're absolutely right."

"I will need your help, however, once she is in a hospital smock for easier examination. Give me five minutes before you come back inside."

Kaidan nodded and left without looking at Merrin again. He needed to get out of his armor, so he went down to the cargo bay to dress down to his BDUs before going back up to the Mess to get something to eat.  He had used several biotic Throws as they cleared the Suns’ ship and needed to refill his energy in hopes of avoid a headache he knew was well on its way to making his day difficult.

As he ate his energy bar designed for active biotics, his thoughts went back to their mysterious guest instead of the report he should be writing.  

Since she wasn't in front of him, he could focus and examine the situation they had found her in in detail, going over the readings his omni-tool had picked up when he had scanned her body for other injuries. It had caught the three of them off guard when their translators had needed to take time to decipher and translate what she was saying.  She looked human, so they had expected her to speak to them in English.  But when she had spoken to them, telling them her name,  her words had come out closer to an interesting combination of French, Italian and Chinese with different accentuations and tones. He had asked what planet she was from, thinking she was just disoriented and ill, but was it possible that this Thedas she said she was from truly existed? Or was he just hoping she wasn’t an escapee from an insane asylum on some planet or space station?

As he walked back to the medical bay, he did a quick search at his workstation on the extranet, but found no planet named Thedas on neither the public databanks nor the Alliance records he had clearance to view.

He'd bring it up with Shepard and see what he thought, he decided.  Perhaps he could ask Anderson, Udina, or maybe even the Council.  Maybe Shepard would have access to information not available to the general public since he was of a higher rank, an N7, and now a Spectre.

Decision made, Kaidan went back to the Med bay and was about to enter when the door opened, bringing him face to face with Doctor Chakwas.

"Ah, there you are. I was just about to go looking for you.  She's dressed now. You can help me with her wound and her readings from your Omni-tool that I assume you took before moving her from the ship. When I scanned her myself, I got some very strange results."

Kaidan followed her back into the room and immediately went to Merrin's bed where she lay flat on her back in her hospital pants and shirt. Her hair was no longer in the ponytail they had found her in, but down and to the side, showing just how long it was. "How bad was her wound, Doc?"

“The wound itself was relatively clean, even with the infection. There are trace amounts of some kind of organic compound, not found in any database that I have access to, within the wound itself. I also found medi-gel on her skin and in her bloodstream, as well as a large amount of sedatives, so it seems that she was being treated. But it was obvious that either the one treating her did not know how to apply the gel, or they had a bad batch and it didn’t take because her wound had very little healing skin at the edges. Who is she?  Where and how exactly did you find her?"

"She said her name is Merrin Trevelyan and that she was from a planet called Thedas.  But I couldn't find anything about the planet on the extranet or in Alliance records, so she was either delusional in her likely fevered state from her wound and malnutrition, she was lying, or she is from a previously unknown alien world outside Council space, whose inhabitants look human like us." He crossed his arms over his chest as he cast his gaze down the alien woman’s body and back to her face again. Her armor, that was now piled haphazardly on the bed on her other side from him, was inadequate to say the least. It was no wonder she had gotten slashed, wherever she had been before being taken by the Blue Suns.

"Tell me what you know."

Kaidan flicked his left wrist to activate his Omni-tool and pressed a button to record his report to Chakwas so he could transpose it later for the Alliance Brass, and sent the doctor a copy of his own scans of her while they had been on the ship. He went into detail about where they found her and how, thinking it might help in her diagnosis. He told her about the unused protein bars stacked neatly along a wall and the medi-gel wrappers they had found scattered about and she nodded, confirming that someone had indeed been applying medical assistance to her wound even though it was obvious they hadn’t been very successful.

"As Commander Shepard was talking to her at eye level, I began seeing signs of high stress and shock setting in, so I did a diagnostic scan of her body with her consent.  As I read the readings for the first scan, there were strange results coming in.  So I decided to do a second test to make sure they were accurate and my ‘tool wasn’t malfunctioning. I also kept her talking to ensure continued consciousness. Since she was able to communicate with us, I am left to assume that the Blue Suns implanted a translator somewhere within her body. Likely in her ear or behind it, since I didn’t find an Omni-tool on her wrist. Once the second scan was complete, I found that the results from the first scan and the second were the same.  According to the readings, her physiology did not match any recorded listings of races in Council Space, yet she, as I stated before, appears human."

Over the next half hour, he told Chakwas everything he could think of about the entire situation. As he did, he continuously found his gaze drawn to the mysterious woman.  With her armor gone, she looked more normal and he got a better picture of her fitness, and his body stirred again at the sight. He quickly cleared his throat and continued, explaining the condition in which he had found her wound.

"During my examination, it became more and more apparent that her wound had been taken care of by someone, likely a member of the Blue Suns, because there were medi-gel packages scattered about and a thin layer of gel applied incorrectly to the wound. If it had been correctly done, her wound would be closed now. The moment she lost consciousness, I requested permission to bring her aboard from Commander Shepard.  She needed the med bay because she was going into shock. Shepard radioed ahead to the pilot, apprising him of the situation and requested backup."

Chakwas nodded again when he finished and he pressed the stop button on his Omni-tool. "I agree with your assessment of the wound. I also found that she had recently lost quite a bit of blood because of her wound, likely adding to her confusion and lassitude. On top of her malnutrition, it’s a wonder she didn’t go into shock sooner if she is indeed from an alien world. I will have to run more tests on the two mysterious organic compounds to see if it gives any hint of her origins as well. She will be quite the intriguing puzzle in the days to come, our Miss Merrin, wouldn't you agree Staff Lieutenant?"

Kaidan didn't know what to think, if he were completely honest.  At first glance, she appeared to be a human female in the peak of health - current medical problems notwithstanding. Toned muscles, strong jaw, lush lips, straight nose, long legs. Skin smooth and showing no visible signs of prolonged illness. He thought of his earlier reaction to her, knowing that he was attracted to her, but to what ends? Being part of the Alliance and on an extended mission on the Normandy with Shepard meant that there was no time for any extra curricular activities like dating. He kicked himself internally. He didn’t even know the woman. His line of thoughts were extremely inappropriate.

"I don't know, Doc. Only time will tell."

Over the next several hours, only taking a break when Shepard, Ashley and Wrex had returned and they all gave a debriefing in the comms room, Kaidan assisted Dr. Chakwas with re-dressing Merrin's wound when it bled through the gauze even after they stitched it closed. Both peered into magnifying glasses as they tried identifying the material found in her wound as well as figuring out why she looked human but had varying differences in comparison to humans that had originated from Earth. Her slightly pointed ears one indication. 

He had so many questions he wanted to ask her.  Was Thedas a secret human colony that got lost when humans had first begun space travel beyond their own system? If they were, then why did they have a different language that the translators actually had to think about? Was it just happenstance that the Milky Way created two planets with humanoid lifeforms on it yet were completely and absolutely unrelated?  Kaidan thought about these questions and more as he rubbed his eyes before going back to a sample of the organic material under a microscope. 

This went on for three days. Both he and Karin studied her, trying to figure out who and what she was. No medication to cure her infection was working, so they resorted to simply washing her wound out several times a day and packing the wound with wet gauze and letting it dry until they were sure that the wound was no longer infected. When the skin around the wound was no longer swollen and hot to the touch, they stitched up the long slash that went from her bellybutton to just below the right side of her ribs. Kaidan would have rather used medigel, but even when applied by a professional such as Dr. Chakwas, it didn’t seal her wound. It seemed as if the compound was incompatible with her physiology.

Before dropping her off at a station, her friend Seema’Ray, a quirky Quarian that they had saved from the ship, visited her under guard to make sure she was okay and to explain to them what had been done to her. Seema had told them all she could from what she had been able to see and hear from the grate separating the two cells. Before she left the Normandy, XO Pressley made the young Quarian sign an agreement of silence, telling her that she was not allowed to give details on the Normandy to anyone. She signed it eagerly, saying she felt gratitude to those who rescued her and wanted nothing to do with causing harm to her saviors.

On the fourth day of the mysterious woman’s comatose state, Kaidan was back to studying the mysterious material they had found when he heard a gasp come from the direction of Merrin's bed, followed by fevered shuffling of cloth. He spun around on his swivel stool to face her and saw Merrin sitting up in the bed, her knees to her chest with wide, frightened eyes scanning everything. Kaidan studied her rapidly moving eyes, noticing they were unfocused and her pupils were blown. He had a feeling that she wasn’t even truly conscious of her actions.

When Chakwas stood to hurry over to her, Merrin noticed her rapid approach and crab walked across the bed to get away from the older woman and Kaidan flinched when her hand missed the bed and she fell off and onto the hard, metal floor below with arms and legs flailing. He worried that she had aggravated her injuries, but if she had, she didn't show it.  Merrin sprang to her feet with surprising agility and hurried to a corner next to the door before resuming the position he had found her in just moments ago.

"Miss Trevelyan, are you alright?  You should be in bed resting.  You have experienced quite the ordeal and need time to heal." Chakwas was trying to be calming, but as she approached the terrified woman, she only appeared to be making things worse. He saw Merrin’s chest rise and fall faster as her head whipped from side to side, seeking an escape route, giving them a deer-in-the-headlights look.

Hurrying forward, Kaidan placed a hand on Chakwas' shoulder before moving to crouch in front of Merrin, noting how her eyes became somewhat focused and locked on him and she eased ever so slightly. She had had a similar reaction on the other ship. He raised his hands mid torso with his palms facing her. "Merrin? You're okay. Do you remember me?"

"A-len-ko." The way she said his last name sounded as if her tongue was numb or she was having a time of talking. 

Kaidan smiled at her use of his last name and could visibly see the muscles in her arms and legs loosening from their vise-like grip they had on her bones. "That's it, easy does it. You are safe here, Merrin. I promise.  This is the medical bay aboard the SSV Normandy."

"The... Normandy?" She closed her eyes and tilted her head towards the ceiling of the med bay as if listening or sensing something. He was surprised when he watched her slightly pointed ears actually  _ twitch _ . Was this common on her planet? 

When she opened her eyes once more, they were still out of focus and the fear had returned as had the shaking. Something was frightening her and it wasn’t helping her situation.  She began murmuring to herself under her breath. "No, no, no, no, no. This isn't real. I am still in the tower.   _ I am still in the tower. _  This is just another blood magic trick to torture me. A desire demon must have possessed me. This isn’t real.  The other metal bird wasn’t real... must still in the tower."

Her manner of speech was sounding like a Salarian, her words quick and close together. Kaidan looked to Chakwas in question, receiving a confused look in reply. Blood Magic? Desire demon? He was about to ask what they should do when a high pitched scream erupted from Merrin's throat. Like a flash, Chakwas went to the table next to Merrin's bed and returned with a syringe full of a clear liquid and approached Merrin.  Kaidan moved next to Merrin, grabbed her now thrashing arms to hold her still, and leaned in next to her ear.

"Everything will be fine, Merrin.  I promise." He whispered, feeling her shake violently in his hands. She was terrified, and all he wanted to do was ensure his words would be true.

"I'm just going to give her a moderate sedative so she doesn't aggravate her healing wound." Chakwas said as she knelt down beside Kaidan and Merrin.

Even though she still struggled in his grasp, whispering ‘Not again…’, her eyes locked onto his when he pulled back once more and stayed, tear-filled, fearful and unfocused, even as Chakwas slid the needle into the flesh of her neck and injected the sedative into Merrin's bloodstream. What was the younger woman seeing that scared her so much? What horrors had she gone through before being captured by the Suns?

Kaidan tensed when the doctor pressed the plunger, worrying that she would end up injuring their patient while she continued to fight against his hold, but he should have known better. Chakwas was no young doctor fresh out of the Academy - she had years, or even decades, of experience in the medical field and held her own against the thrashing woman. He knew better than to worry. In no time, Merrin relaxed, the drug coursing through her body.  Her eyelids drifted closed and her head flopped forward onto his collarbone, her arms going went limp as the medication took hold more quickly than usual. 

Kaidan scooped her up with ease, mindful of her wound once more, noting how different she felt in his arms when there was no armor between them.  His cheeks flushed at just how much he felt himself enjoying having her in his arms. He moved over to her bed and set her down carefully before moving away, severing contact completely. He could physically feel himself becoming attached to a woman he knew next to nothing about and he had to stop it. He couldn't let it happen.  Kaidan backed away until his rear bumped into the table he had been working at and turned to lose himself in their study of the mysterious compounds.

~//~

When Merrin opened her eyes next, it was to a darkened room. She felt a familiar lethargy pulling at her arms and legs, feeling as if heavy stones had been tied to her wrists and ankles. It felt like the time she had accidentally eaten the wrong plant while hunting mages and had been knocked out. So she resigned herself to casting her gaze about more leisurely now that a haze of fear and the hallucinations from the lyrium wasn’t currently clouding her vision so completely. 

She could still feel the emotion in her gut, but now she could focus more on finding a way off this metal bird. 

Was she in her right mind?  Was this real? Or was she still in an illusion cast by a demon of desire? If it was, then why was it looking like this and not something more familiar? Why was she seeing people in strange clothing walk around with panes of glass in their hands? So many questions floated leisurely through her mind as she lay in the bed that her mind could not process completely.

This room... what had Alenko called it?  The Medical bay? It was clean and tidy, like the infirmary back at the tower, but it lacked the stone ceiling and walls and the heavy wooden door. It was infinitely warmer than the infirmary at the tower as well. If any of this was truly real.

Merrin turned her head to the right easier than she had in days.  Where was the door?  When she thought she had woken from a dream before, there had been the fear upon waking to a new and unfamiliar place. There had also been memories replacing everything she could see, brought on by the withdrawal. Memories of the tower, of the tor... But she thought she remembered seeing some kind of portal outline. When she looked there now, she saw nothing.

“Oh good, you’re awake. You’re on the SSV Normandy and you are safe and cared for.”

Merrin tensed at the sound of an older woman’s voice right next to her.  When she turned to look to her left, it was to see the woman from her hallucination earlier. What was her name…

“Miss Trevelyan, I am Doctor Chakwas.  I am the physician on this ship.” Merrin relaxed at the woman’s soft voice, but didn’t let down her guard.  She didn’t know this woman, what a physician was, and for all she knew, all this was still just an illusion brought on by a blood mage or lyrium-induced imaginings.

“Miss Trevelyan, are you feeling alright?”

“My name isn’t Miss.  It’s Merrin, Doctor.”

“Ah I see. Miss is a title, Merrin.  As is doctor.  I heal people professionally. My name is Karin.”

“Miss is a title? Like Ser or Serah.”

“Erm, yes. Now, might I examine your injury? I want to make sure it’s healed properly.”

Merrin looked at Doctor Chakwas, wondering if she was sane. She watched the healer reach over to turn on a light overhead and Merrin flinched slightly at the suddenness brightness without using flint. Karin raise the edge of the shirt Merrin had been dressed in and Merrin scoffed. “I have only had it a short time.  It couldn’t possibly be heal…”

Looking down at the wound as Karin cut away the bandages wrapped around her stomach, it was as if it was weeks old instead of a few short days, with small stitches at even intervals up the length of the wound. She shivered when the Doctor’s cool fingers touched the warm flesh of her ribs where there was now a raised dark pink scar growing on her skin as the wound continued to heal, leading to her belly button. Merrin looked up at the other woman and started pulling away.

“Are you a mage?  Surely this couldn’t have healed so much so soon. Or have I been slumbering for many weeks, to allow the wound to be healed as such?”

“A magician?  No.” The older woman paused and placed her hands on her hips, looking up in thought.  After a few moments, she looked back down at Merrin. “We live in a society that is, apparently, quite a bit more advanced than that of which you are used to. It isn’t instant, but we can heal a wound that would take weeks or months to heal back in the age before modern medicine, in a fraction of the time. For instance, your wound here would have needed stitches and weeks of healing and then some physical therapy to repair the wounded muscles and possibly broken bones.  But with our techniques and medicines, your wound could be healed in a matter of days and would only need physical therapy. As it is, our medigel doesn’t seem to work for you, so we had to go about healing you in a bit more of an old-fashioned way with a lot of cleaning and some stitches.”

That reassured Merrin little. “How long have I been asleep?”

The doctor pursed her lips.  “I gave you a light sedative to calm you down when you woke before after four days of unconsciousness. It was supposed to help you sleep and speed up your healing. But it affected you much differently than I had assumed.  That was five days ago.”

She had been sleeping for five… no… nine days? That was over a week that she could have been spending getting back home.

“Well, you seem to have healed enough to be allowed to move about the room. I just have one or two questions for you, if I may?” Merrin nodded and relaxed into the pillow under her head. “The main question I have that has been stumping the Lieutenant and I, as well as some medical colleagues of mine is: What plant did you use, before being captured, to heal your wound? We recognize some of the qualities, but there was an unknown chemical in it that, when tested, seemed to somehow have healing abilities.”

“It’s called Elfroot.  It is a healing herb that grows wild in forests and near water sources. It is commonly used as a poultice or a potion. I was only able to find a little before I got captured.” Merrin closed her eyes against the growing brightness of the light in the room.  “Why is it getting so bright in here?”

The doctor paused. Merrin could hear confusion in her voice when she replied.  “What do you mean?”

Merrin squeezed her eyes shut so that none of the the near blinding light could get in, causing her head to begin hurting. A pinching sensation at first, but it rapidly got worse. She felt a moan escape her as she turned to her side and curled into a fetal position, lifting her hands up to cup the sides of her head. It was starting to positively throb, making it to where she couldn’t even think. The singing was returning and screaming was in her ears and bouncing off the insides of her skull, like a stray spell gone awry. The combination of pain and screeching song threatened to make her sick.

“What’s wrong? I need you to talk to me.”

"My head," Merrin croaked, her eyes tearing as she squeezed her temples with her hands.  The pain was horrible. It was as if every part of her head was screaming now, and no matter how hard she tried to block it out, it didn't work. She wanted to scream, to cry out. But she couldn't seem to get the sound past her gritting teeth and locked jaw.

As if from a great distance, she thought she heard Doctor Chakwas talking to her.  Something about pain and medication. All Merrin could do was curl into a tighter ball as the pain worked its way slowly down her spine. She barely felt the pinprick that was a needle being inserted into her arm.

Merrin was surprised when the pain ebbed enough that she could open her eyes. The pain was gone so fast, replaced by that Maker forsaken lethargy.  She saw concern and confusion etched on the woman's face from above.

"Do you know what brought on such a strong and sudden reaction, Merrin?"

Merrin blinked slowly then nodded, replying at the same speed. "Lyrium, serah."

"What is Lyrium?  Is it some kind of narcotic?"

"Lyrium is a ...mineral… mined by the dwarves that bestows... and enhances a Templar's abilities." She paused, feeling her eyelids getting heavy once more. ‘ _ Not again, please Maker, not again.’ _

"Fascinating." Was the last thing Merrin heard before sleep claimed her once more.

~//~

"I was wondering when you would return."

Kaidan pushed down a blush that attempted to color his cheeks.  He had done his best to stay away from the med bay unless Chakwas required his assistance, thinking it would lessen his reaction to their patient. But he couldn't seem to stop thinking about Merrin as she slept in the Med bay.  For nine days, even when Shepard had needed him on some of the planets in the system they just cleared, he had thought of her.  She was starting to prove to be a distraction he could ill afford. His Commander needed him to be at his best, as both a biotic and the field medic. He couldn't afford to worry about a single female right now.

"I'm sorry, Doc. Did you need me for anything? I have only just returned from assisting the Commander on exploration missions of the planets in the Athens system before we head to Knossos to find Benezia’s daughter, Liara T’Soni."

She made a noncommittal noise. "I thought that, since you brought our Mysterious Merrin in and helped me while she slept before her episode, you might have taken special interest in her case."

"What do you mean?  Has something happened?" He flinched internally at his anxious tone. So much for telling himself not to worry about her.

Chakwas smirked, obviously picking up on his inner conflict. "It would seem that she is going through withdrawal symptoms from one of the two compounds we found in her system. I believe she called it Lyrium? It appears to be some kind of narcotic mined from the ground on the planet she's from. She mentioned about it gifting and enhancing some kind of abilities. It almost sounds like Red Sand, to be honest. While I was speaking with her earlier, she had a sudden attack of intense pain in her head, curling into a fetal position as tightly as her body would allow. If I had allowed it to continue, she’d have likely gotten sick in the rubbish bin."

Kaidan gulped.  No matter his reactions to her, he disliked it when innocent people were in pain. In this case, he understood what she had gone through. Because of his L2 implants, he was prone to intense migraines.  Especially when or if he over used his biotics and he hadn't eaten anything in awhile. "Did you give her the same medication I’m given when it gets bad?"

"Yes, with some minor adjustments to the formula. That's why she is sleeping now." She looked at him for a moment, as if waiting for him to say something.  When he didn't, she continued. "I was wondering if you might be able to keep an eye on her. I missed lunch today."

Before he could decline her request, she brushed past him and was out the door, heading to the Mess. Kaidan pursed his lips as he stared at the door for a moment before turning to Merrin's sleeping form.

He watched her eyes move rapidly behind her eyelids.  She was dreaming and he felt momentary curiosity before pushing it back.  She had been through hell on that slaver ship and even before by the looks of the angry slash she had been sporting when they found her and brought her to the Normandy.  Romance may not be in his list of capabilities - not any more - but he was a field medic and he cared about people.  And, if her story about being from a planet that wasn’t listed anywhere on the extranet was true, then she was alone and needed a friend. He didn’t mind stepping up to  _ that _ plate at least.

Kaidan settled in to watch over Merrin as Doctor Chakwas had requested.  The sooner they reached the Citadel again, the better for the alien woman before him.

~//~

Several hours later, Kaidan was reading from a medical journal he had saved on his tablet about field medics and the latest advances in studies made to increase the potency of medigel and tricks and tips to keeping soldiers alive while planet-side. Dr. Chakwas had long since returned and was currently working at her desk. 

Both humans turned to the woman on the bed when she started squirming and moaning under the sheet they had draped over her to keep her warm. The REM he had witnessed earlier seemed to have become more intense, leading to more fervent dreams. What was she dreaming about?

Kaidan jumped to her side when Merrin started thrashing, her arms flailing and legs kicking. Her dream was no longer just a dream.  It appeared to be turning into a nightmare.

He sat down next to her on the bed to wake her at the same time she shot up in bed with a gasp, slipping past his outstretched arms. Without thinking, Kaidan wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “Shh, you’re okay.  It was just a dream.”

She seemed to visibly relax at his reassurance. Merrin’s body shuddered once before she relaxed more and pulled away. Kaidan felt himself become charmed by the blush on her cheeks that had nothing to do with fever.

“Thank you, ser.” She seemed almost embarrassed that he had seen her like that. “I appreciate you for waking me from my nightmare.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He raised his eyebrows when she violently shook her head and pulled away from him. “Merrin?”

She looked at him with fear in her eyes. “Please, I do not wish to relive those events that cause the nightmares. It’s bad enough I relive them while I sleep. I beg you not ask me.”

Kaidan bowed his head in respect for her request.  “I want to be your friend, Merrin.  I will wait for as long as you need.  But I have heard that sharing your dreams or nightmares helps with healing.”

“You want to be my friend?” 

He couldn’t tell if she was purposefully ignoring his comment, but it didn’t bother him and he shrugged. “I do.  If you really are from another world, then you are very much alone right now and could use one. If you even want one, that is.” He quickly added. For all he knew, she wanted nothing to do with him.

She pinched her chin as she looked at him in thought, then smiled. “Yes.  I think I’d like that, Alenko.”

“Kaidan.”

“What?”

“My name. It’s Kaidan.  Alenko is my surname.”

Merrin gasped and placed a hand over her mouth in surprise.  A blush formed high on her cheekbones again. “I’ve been calling you by your surname this whole time? Oh, Maker, I am embarrassed.”

Kaidan chuckled and she seemed to focus on the sound. Suddenly, he felt rather self-conscious and rubbed at the back of his neck. “You’re fine. Calling people by their last name is a military thing that just sort of turns into a habit. You can call me whatever you want.”

She smiled at him. “Alright, Kaidan.”


	4. Getting to Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I haven't updated in a month! I thought that It was up to date on the last chapter I had written for this fic!

Kaidan watched Merrin move about the crew quarters near the end of his shift before dinner the next day as he attempted to reroute some wires in an auxiliary panel to enhance efficiency.  She was still in her med bay shirt and pants from the day before, her hair still down from where she had worn it high on the crown of her head, with no socks or shoes. Out of the corner of his eye, he followed her as she padded around the mess three times over the last hour, her nearly white-blonde hair swaying around her hips, touching various objects and parts of the ship, stopping periodically to sniff the air - looking in every single nook and cranny.  She was almost acting like a spy, trying to learn the ins and outs of the Normandy.

He scoffed quietly at the thought and he saw Merrin’s head whip towards him as if he had yelled at her.  He murmured a ‘sorry’, surprised she could have even heard him from across the large room, and Merrin nodded before returning to whatever it was she was doing. She had decided to consider him as a friendly face here on the Normandy.  He couldn’t let his observations of her be colored by thoughts that she might be a spy and consummate actress. 

He looked at the situation from another angle. If she  _ were  _ from another planet, one not having been brought into the galactic community, then ships like the Normandy would be a strange thing to find oneself in. If he were in her shoes, he’d be curious about everything, too.

Kaidan continued watching her as he pretended to work, several minutes later, as she moved to the elevator.  When Merrin stepped inside the car, she touched the green panel to make the elevator car go down. Kaidan could see panic in her eyes as the two doors began closing automatically and was about to go to her when he watched her leap forward between the two horizontal doors and do a summersault to cushion her tumble.  On the rollout, she popped back to her feet in one fluid motion and turned towards the doors in confusion. She was acting as if she hadn’t been sick, hadn’t had an inch-deep slice in her belly.

Kaidan jogged over to her, his tool still in hand in his hurry from where he had been working.  “Are you okay?”

Merrin turned back to him at his voice, the panic still in her gaze.  “I am well. Now.”  She looked over her shoulder at the elevator. “What is that beast?”

“That’s an elevator.”

She stared at him with a lost expression.  “A what?”

“A… lift?  It transports you from one floor of a building, or ship, to another.”

Her eyes widened in surprise and she turned back to the elevator doors. “Truly?  What a marvel! That would make climbing the tower so much easi...er…”  

Merrin’s words trailed off and Kaidan moved to stand next to her. When he looked at her, he saw that her skin had paled and now had a distant expression form in her profile, as if her mind were a thousand light years away and the memory was painful.  He frowned.  Just how neolithic  _ was  _ the planet she came from, if they didn’t even have basic elevators or lifts? He shook his head and looked back at Merrin.  “What are you looking for, Merrin?”  

“My name is Merrin, not…” Merrin frowned, eyebrows two shades darker than the rest of her hair furrowed then shot up; one disappearing into her side-swept bangs. “Oh! That’s what you said, isn’t it?”

Kaidan chuckled. “You aren’t used to people calling you by your first name, are you?”

Merrin’s hair swayed like silk in the sunshine as she shook her head from side to side before looking up at him with her bright hazel eyes. “No. Back home, people called me Knight-Captain or Captain Trevelyan.  No one has really called me by my given name since Mother Rebekah.”

“You were in a military on your planet? Where were you stationed? I think I remember hearing you say something about a tower…?”

She froze and her eyes widened. Slowly, she backed up and away from him, looking like a deer caught in the headlights and that she was about to run.

“Merrin wait.  I’m sorry.  That’s obviously a touchy subject and I didn’t know.” Kaidan made the mistake of grabbing for her arm to halt her retreat. 

“No! Let go of me!”

Kaidan quickly let go and held his hands up. “Okay, alright, no touching.” What had she gone through that would cause these kind of reactions? Was she suffering from post-traumatic stress? All these questions and more were flying through his mind. The way she was acting, the nightmares.  They all pointed to a reaction to a traumatic event. He would have to speak with Chakwas. “Is there anything I can do for you, Merrin?”

She wrapped her arms around her torso, hugging herself. “I’d like my armor back, if at all possible.  And my bow and arrows.”

“Alright, let’s see what we can do.” When Kaidan moved back towards the elevator, Merrin stopped short of entering with him. “What’s up?”

“I am curious about everything here, so normally I would have stayed in the… elvator… to see where it went.  But as the doors were closing I remembered… things. So I lept out.”

Kaidan exited the elevator. “Alright.  Let’s go down the stairs then. We can talk to Ash about your weapons and armor. I think she was put in charge of repair.”

“Who is Ash?”

“She was there when we found you on the Suns’ ship.”

“The dark-haired woman?” Kaidan nodded and Merrin frowned. “Why did she call you el tee? Your name is Kaidan.”

“LT is a nickname given to me by Ash - Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. LT is short for Lieutenant.”

“Why does she not call you by that?  Is she of higher rank than you?”

“No,” Kaidan answered and rubbed the back of his neck.  “My full rank is Staff-Lieutenant, I’m the Head of Marine Detail, but most people stick with Lieutenant or, in Ash’s case, LT.”

Merrin crossed her arms over her nearly flat chest and Kaidan kicked himself internally for the disrespectful observation. “That is disrespectful of her, Lieutenant.  If you are of a higher rank in your military than she, then you should be afforded the respect you deserve.”

“You can still call me Kaidan, Merrin.  You aren’t part of our military so our rules and traditions don’t necessarily apply to you. But honestly, Ash is a friend and it doesn’t bother me that she calls me LT. As long as she doesn’t do it in front of Captain Anderson or any Rear Admirals.  She doesn’t mean anything by it.” He watched her shake her head at something before relaxing slightly. After several moments of silence, he asked, “So, what were you looking for in the crew quarters?”

“I like learning my surroundings, if I can.  Better for planning should something arise, do you not agree, Lieutenant Kaidan?”

“I do agree, but your mannerisms could come off as suspicious, Merrin.  You aren’t Alliance, so to those who have yet to meet you, it might seem like you are gleaning details about the Normandy to either report back to an employer, to sell to an enemy of the Alliance, or to sell to an information broker. For all they know, you could be selling us out to the Batarian Hegemony or extremists because they have your family and it’s the only way to get them back.” Merrin bristled at the mention of the Batarians and Kaidan remembered coming across the other species amongst the Blue Suns on the ship they found her on.  It was common to find Batarians within that particular mercenary company.  “Merrin?”

“I would  _ never _ ally myself with any Batarian.  Tearn was rude and cruel with his words. He wanted to purchase me from his keeper just so that he could hurt me more because I called him a demon.”

Kaidan choked back a laugh.  He didn’t know her well, but felt that she wouldn’t appreciate him finding humor in a traumatic event. Even if it was over a simple word.  He nodded in understanding instead. 

There was another uncomfortable moment of silence after she spoke and he wanted to kick himself for bringing up the Batarians. God only knew how long she had really been in that ship’s brig or how she had been hurt by them, and his reminding her of that time had been thoughtless. He could feel something deep inside him wanting her to think only the best of him. And not just as a friendly face. But that was ridiculous, they had only just met.

“I’m sorry, Merrin.  That was thoughtless on my account.”

She nodded. “You’re right, it was.  But I forgive you.”

Kaidan paused at her bluntness when they reached the bottom of the stairs leading to the cargo hold. There was something almost refreshing about it.  

Merrin’s stomach took that moment to growl loudly and Kaidan smiled as he flicked his wrist to activate his omni-tool to check what time it was. Merrin jumped back, reaching over her shoulder for a weapon, only to grasp at air. She looked at her shoulder in confusion for a split second before her gaze turned to sadness  Kaidan lifted his hands, again, palms up and omni-tool still active. It felt like he was constantly doing that around her. When her hazel gaze returned to him, he lowered his hand so only the omni-tool was raised.  “It’s okay, Merrin.  I’m just checking to see what time it is.”

Her eyes never left the omni-tool encompassing his left arm, but her look surprise turned into interest.  Kaidan sighed and flicked his wrist again to close it once more.

“What was that?”

“How about I answer all of your questions while you eat dinner? My shift is over and, if what I saw when we rescued you was any indication, you haven’t had much to eat before we found you either.”

Merrin lowered her hands to her hips, accentuating their slight curve. “It’s not like I didn’t want to eat, you know. There hadn’t been much to forage for in the forest and I was too weak to eat anything they brought me.  Not that I would have. I did not trust them. They might have intended to poison me or some such nonsense.””

Kaidan motioned with a tilt of his head and a raised thumb, for her to follow him back up the stairs and to the small ship's kitchen where food was on display. In the mess, he reached over Merrin’s shoulder for several hot rations and a hand full of cold that he felt were more edible than the others. 

He chuckled as he watched her lean in close to the piles, examining them, poking and prodding them, all the while pinching her chin. She was one of the most curious people he had ever met, making her story about being from another world more believable. Kaidan touched her elbow to grab her attention after he placed the rations on a plastic tray, and took them to the main table where everyone on the Normandy ate.

When they stopped next to the table, it was to find Garrus and Tali, two of the three new additions to the Normandy’s crew from when they had been on the Citadel last,  having a conversation as they sat across from each other eating dextro meals and drink substitutes. He hadn’t gotten to know them terribly well yet except for when they went to various planets before rescuing Merrin and since she had been aboard, but they both knew what they were doing, especially in battle.

“Mind if we join you?” Kaidan asked, setting the tray down but not letting go in case they wished to be alone. 

“Not at all!” Tali chirped and waved to the chair next to her to indicate they should sit next to her and Garrus, who nodded in agreement.  All three turned to face Merrin where she remained standing and gasped.

“Seema’Ray?  Is that you?”

Garrus and Kaidan looked from Tali to Merrin and back.  Seema’Ray had been the Quarian that they’d found in the cell next to Merrin and who had come to the Med bay to check on the human before disembarking on a space station.  She had told them that she had come from the Adima, a small ship in the Migrant Fleet. The female had told Shepard of the slavers plans for all of the souls in the brig.  For Merrin, they were planning to sell her to the highest bidder as the only one of her kind in Council Space. He was glad that they had found her when they had.

“Merrin, this is Tali’Zorah nar Rayya and Garrus Vakarian.  Your friend, Seema’Ray nar Adima visited you before she requested that we drop her off on a space station within Council Space shortly after we found you.” Kaidan looked at Merrin and noticed she was still staring at Tali, who had started squirming in her seat under the human’s intense gaze. It was as if she was trying to see past the female Quarian’s faceplate.  “Merrin.”

His firm tone caused Merrin to jump to attention.  When she tore her gaze away from Tali to look back towards Kaidan, it passed over Garrus and Kaidan watched her eyes grow wide again as she lifted her hand over her shoulder for the weapon that still wasn’t there.  Her body began shaking as she groped for her invisible weapon once more and Kaidan started to worry.

Kaidan rose from his chair and stood next to her, standing between her and the Turian, placing a gentle hand above her upper arm and feeling the vibration of her muscles moving through her limb even as his hand hovered above the sleeve of her shirt. “Are you alright?  What’s wrong.”

Merrin slowly turned to him and leaned in to whisper in his ear, without touching him, so as not to appear rude. “What is Garrus Vakarian?”

Kaidan had to force down the shiver that went through his body and down his spine from her warm breath at his ear and swallowed the lump in his throat.  He knew Merrin hadn’t meant for her words to come off as rude as it had and he hoped that, if the other male had heard it, Garrus wouldn’t take it offensively.  Shepard had briefed everyone of their impromptu acquisition and her part of her situation, but that didn’t excuse rudeness.  “Garrus is from a warrior race called the Turians.  They are our allies and most are friendly like him, so you don’t have to worry.”

To her credit, after he explained, Merrin quickly recovered and she walked closer to the table and bowed at the waist with a fisted hand over her heart.  “I apologize for any perceived rudeness or misunderstanding, messere. My name is Merrin Trevelyan.  It is a pleasure to meet you, Messere Vakarian, Messere nar Rayya.”

Tensions calmed after that.  Merrin sat across from Kaidan, next to Tali, and began asking a sundry of questions of Garrus and Tali while eating her rations.  Occasionally, she would glance at him as if she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him.  But that couldn’t be true - people just didn’t act that way around him.  She just wanted to include him in the conversation.  Kaidan  appreciated the kind gesture, but he was content simply listening.

Kaidan listened to their words as the conversation continued past thirty minutes, but he found himself getting lost in the tone of Merrin’s voice. Now that she was fully awake, drug-free and without fear, he could hear confidence infusing a voice that was smooth and airy. Quite an interesting contrast. It washed over him like a warm summer breeze and he felt his biotics react, flaring slightly before he had a chance to block it.  

He felt a blush form at his reaction, glad that Merrin hadn’t seemed to notice the blue aura that had formed over his body while she consumed a hot ration. He didn’t want to think about what her reaction would be if she saw his biotics activate without him explaining first, didn’t know what kind of memory it might trigger.

He tried to remember when he had had a similar reaction to someone, but came up blank. Had it happened with Rahna? He couldn’t remember now. What just happened at just the sound of Merrin’s voice appeared to be a first and he was both concerned and intrigued.

After a while, Garrus went back to the cargo bay and the Mako and Tali went back to engineering.  Kaidan took the opportunity to get to know Merrin without company while she continued to eat her rations, her attentions solely on him.

Merrin answered all his questions in between bites, nothing held back, many of her replies as blunt as her words earlier.  She was twenty-nine years old, a rogue and a archer. She was born to a noble family in Tevinter, but had been sent to a group called the Templars when she had still been an infant. When he asked about why she was so honest and blunt, she explained that it was easier to be up front and truthful than secretive and lie all the time, explaining how she grew up and the people she surrounded herself with. How she had run those under her command.

Then something about what she had told him caught his notice. “Wait… you didn’t  _ choose _ to become a soldier? The Templar Order sounds almost like monkhood and they forced it on you as an infant!” Merrin looked to the side, but couldn’t hide the faint flush that formed across her cheeks and nose. 

‘Cute.’ Kaidan cursed himself at the thought, but couldn’t make the word stop echoing through his mind.  He studied the faint coloring, surprised to see it highlight a light scattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, to the tips of her slightly pointed ears, and the skin beneath eyes of the most stunning hazel color he had ever seen, flecked with gold.  Thin, yet calloused fingers tucked strands of white blonde hair behind her ear.

“No.  Mother Rebekah told me that my parents, who are Trevelyan dignitaries in a country called Tevinter, were forced to give me to a corrupt Knight-Commander to protect my older brother when the local Templars discovered he had magical abilities. Or so I am told.” Merrin sighed sadly and gathered her knees to her chest in her chair.  “Mother Rebekah raised me.  She is an amazing woman and I miss her terribly.” 

Merrin paused then looked up at him.  She looked so young and small all of a sudden and his heart clenched at the sight. “Lieutenant Kaidan?”

“Please, Merrin.  Just Kaidan. I am your friend after all.”

“Friends? Really? I’m sorry.” She chuckled nervously. ”All of this is taking some getting used to.” Merrin smiled up at him meekly.

Kaidan chuckled, the word ‘cute’ slipping past his defences again, causing him to groan inside. “It’s fine, Merrin. You can call me Lieutenant Alenko or just Kaidan.  Whichever is more comfortable for you.”

Her bashful smile turned into a smirk before she nodded to him. “All right, Just Kaidan.  Do you think I will ever return to Thedas?”

“I honestly cannot say.  While you slept, after we took you from the ship you were on, I looked for your Thedas, but found no trace of it on the extranet.” he paused, seeing confusion in her eyes once more. “Erm, our public archives. I don’t know what nebula they picked you up in because when we boarded, they wiped the ship’s trip history. Likely to protect their customers.  I’m sorry.”  When Merrin looked away from him, Kaidan found himself blurting, “But Shepard might be able to help.”

She looked up at him once more with skepticism and a tiny twinkle of hope. ”How?”

Kaidan realized too late that he shouldn’t have said what he had.  It would only get her hopes up and, if it turned out Shepard couldn’t help her get back home, it would hurt her and the pain she was already experiencing from being kidnapped from her home world would only intensify.  He got the feeling she would see the failure to produce the information she sought as a lie and be upset by it.  Merrin gave off the impression of being intolerant of lies. It was something Kaidan found that he admired about her.

“I make no promises, mind you.” He was quick to add. “For all I know, it may have been an uncharted world that the slavers just happened upon and it won’t come up in any database whatsoever.  But there is a slim possibility Shepard has the resources to find it.”

Merrin bobbed her head in understanding. Without missing a beat, she continued. “Where is my armor? I have eaten as you suggested. I should like to repair it, if at all possible. I would also like to find my bow as well, unless it was left on the previous metal bird.”

“Ship.”

“I’m sorry.  Left on the previous metal  _ ship _ , my hand feels odd without it near; my back feels strange without its weight. It’s like an extension of my being and I do not like being separated from it.”

“Ashley has your bow, but for your armor, I don’t know.  I think it was taken to the armory after Chakwas removed it to examine your injury.”

“I see.” Merrin flattened the bit of tinfoil that had been wrapped around some kind of cake before standing and picking up her tray. There was a pregnant pause before she added,  “Are you ready?”

Kaidan nodded and rose, taking the tray of flattened wrappers from her hand back to the kitchen to dispose of in the garbage compactor.

When they reached the cargo hold and the armory, Kaidan introduced Merrin to Wrex, who was standing in front of some of the lockers. She had a similar reaction to the Krogan as she had with Garrus, but it lasted less time than before and she didn’t grab for her non-existent weapon.  She was adapting to all the new species on the ship and he was impressed.  When she started asking the male questions about his race, causing an awkwardness in the Krogan that made Kaidan laugh, he picked up her antiquated armor from a bench and handed it over Merrin, drawing away her attention from the uncomfortable alien.  When the alien woman took it from him, she held the chest plate close and traced the design etched into the metal before picking up the boots and turning back towards him expectantly. 

A short distance away, Ashley was cleaning out the barrel of an assault rifle with a steel file. His fellow soldier looked up as the two approached and turned to them when they stopped in front of her table.  

“Hey Ash,”

“Hey LT, what can I do for you?”

“Lieutenant Kaidan tells me that you have my bow, Gunnery Chief.  Might I have it back please?”

Ashley raised an eyebrow to Merrin. “I didn’t realize you were awake. Are you alright?”   
  
“I am well, thank you.  May I have my bow please?” 

The other marine turned to Kaidan as if to ask for permission. “It’s a bow, Ash. What harm could it do? I doubt her arrows could do much damage to our armor and I have confidence that she is competent with the bow.”

Ashley shrugged and went to a locker on the right side of her station, pulling out the bow and quiver of arrows they had found inside her cell.  She held it in both of her hands, getting one last look at the intricate details etched in the wood before handing it to Merrin.  Merrin shifted her armor to one side and grabbed her bow with the other, snatching it from Ashley’s hand and holding it close to her breast.

Merrin studied her bow, an almost loving look blooming in her gaze before she turned her hazel eyes to stare steadily at Ashley. Kaidan entertained the thought that the temperature in the cargo hold had dropped ten degrees just from the look Merrin was giving Ashley. “Thank you, Gunnery Chief Williams.”

Ash must have felt it as well because she raised her hands in surrender. “Yeah, sure.  No problems. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Kaidan stepped in before Merrin could speak.  “Not at all.  If she needs anything, I can get it for her.” He steered Merrin away from Ashley and towards the elevator once more. “What was that about?”

“I didn’t feel comfortable with her handling my weapon - I don’t feel comfortable with anyone handling my bow but me. I also told you that I do not approve of her blatant disregard for your rank. Our acquaintance may be new, but I think you deserve the respect you have earned.”

“I understand the weapon thing, but why are you so focused on her use of ‘LT’ over my full title? Ash and I are friends - it honestly doesn’t bother me.” 

“Why does it not bother you? You have earned her respect, and that of your peers, and yet she does not give it to you while either you or she is on duty.  If any of the Templars under my charge had shown me such disrespect while on duty, there would have been punishments.”

“Well, she isn’t a templar.  We aren’t on your planet. I have no problem with her nicknames and you shouldn’t either.  And why are we even having this discussion?  I barely even know you.”

He realized he struck a negative cord with Merrin when she looked shocked at his words before putting on a mask of stone as she stood straighter, looking oddly like a seasoned commander.

“You are correct, Lieutenant Alenko.” Kaidan flinched slightly when she reverted to using his surname. “I am sorry for my words and actions. It will not happen again. I will see myself out. Oh, and you need not worry about my needing a friend. I can do well enough by myself. Good day.”

Kaidan sighed as she spun on her heel, her long hair whipping behind her back as she walked quietly and evenly towards the elevator, to where, he didn’t know. He knew that he should stop her.  It wasn’t wise for her to be without an escort on the ship, regardless of what Shepard said. He was going to tell her that the armor repair supplies were down here, but now she was in the elevator heading up and he got the feeling that she needed some space.  Hell, he did too. But after listening to her about her history, the urge to learn more about her was undeniable.  He wanted to be her friend. 

“You two just fought like an old married couple, I hope you know.”

He turned to Ashley when she came to a stop next to him with the rifle back in hand; both marines facing the elevator. “That was weird.”

“You’re telling me.  Am I mistaken, LT, or did she seem…  _ protective... _ of you?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, from watching you two when you entered the hold, she seemed to walk close to you, then realize it and move away, before repeating. And when I called you LT, she literally bristled.  Bristled! I don’t think I have ever seen anyone actually bristle before.  And what was with her ears? Can she move them all on her own? She kind of reminded me of a cat when she was talking about me to you about respecting your rank. You two may have moved a distance away, but the four of us down here could hear everything you were talking about.”

Had they really? No way. “I think you’re seeing things that aren’t there, Ash. Merrin has only just come aboard. No, you are definitely seeing things. Merrin just appreciates that I helped her off of the Suns’ ship and I want to be her friend. I’m sure she is the same with Shepard and will be with you once she gets to know you and your  _ winning _ personality.”

Ashley rolled her eyes at him.  “Do you know if she has even spoken to Shepard since being brought to the Normandy or even since waking from her induced coma?”

Kaidan had to take a moment to think back through the day.  Was there a time when he wasn’t watching her? He shook his head. That was just creepy; as if he was a stalker or something. “Not that I can think of.”

“You were watching her your whole shift?”

“Not my  _ entire  _ shift.” Kaidan reached up to rub the back of his neck. “She happened to be wandering around the crew deck at the end of my shift, so I kept an eye on her while I worked on a control pannel down there. All she was doing was examining every nook and crany. She said it was because she liked knowing her surroundings.”

Kaidan looked over at Ashley and saw that she had crossed her arms over her breasts with a raised eyebrow.  She didn’t believe him one bit, even though he had told her the truth. Kaidan shook his head.  It didn’t matter whether she believed him or not. What did matter was that he now needed to go apologize to Merrin for his words.

“Take it easy on her, Ash. She is still getting to her feet in this new world she has found herself in.” Kaidan walked to the elevator with a ‘yeah yeah’ floating behind him.

~//~

Merrin angrily swiped her cheek with her hand again as she traveled up the lift.  Why in the Maker’s name was she so emotional. Kaidan… Lieutenant Alenko had been right. She was acting irrational about the ranks. He and Ashley were and had been friends for a long time, it was painfully apparent. She had no right whatsoever to tell him who could call him what.  A captain of the Templars she might be, but they were not Templars. They weren’t her men to be commanded. She was nowhere near Thedas now, thanks to those who kidnapped her. And if Kaidan was right, she may never return.

Her stomach threatened to roll and rebel at the thought and she had to stop along the side of a walkway leading to the medical room to use the wall to brace herself as she leaned over. Never see the beautiful Free Marches again?  Mother Rebekah? She had never truly met her biological family, and the templars and mages she had been friends with and called her family were dead.  Except for Rhyse and Arryn and a handful of mages of varying skill.

She suddenly felt very alone in the belly of this metal bird, _ ship _ , as she pushed off from the wall and carried her armor through the crew deck, that she managed to find after pressing the button in the elevator a number of times. Being alone wasn’t entirely true - Kaidan had expressed wishing to be friends with her.  But she had likely ruined that now and, as he said, he didn’t even know her, nor she, him. Not truly. Did that constitute friendship? What did? The topic had never come up in Templar training or through her years of service, so she couldn't be sure. Those she had called friends… had they been?

When she stowed her bow and armor behind the bed she had woken in - she suddenly wasn’t feeling like repairing it - she decided to keep walking.  Get to know more of her surroundings. As she was leaving the med bay, she realized she was forgetting something.  Merrin quickly padded back inside and changed into her tunic undershirt, leather breeches and boots.  It did not make good first impressions on the other humans within the bird if she was walking around in barely-there pants and no shoes.

Merrin tucked in her shirt as she ascended the stairs and found herself on a different deck all together. She looked around for signs to tell her where she was, but she couldn’t read what was written on the wall.  The... _ thing… _ in her ear must only translate sound, not writing.

“Hey there!  I didn’t realize you were up and wandering around.  Need help finding anything?”

Merrin spun around with a gasp.  A man had stopped next to her and was smiling at her in familiarity. “Oh! Did I walk in front of you…?”

“Commander Shepard. And no, I just got here myself.  I was going up to see the pilot about our ETA.”

“ _ Commander _ Shepard?” Merrin did a quick salute, closed fist over her left breast and slight bend at the waist. “I’m sorry, ser, if I showed you any disrespect.  I did not realize your title.”

Shepard chuckled.  “You’re fine.  You can call me Shepard or Malcolm.”

Merrin straightened. “Thank you, ser.  But I would rather call you by your proper title if that’s alright.”

He nodded then moved to stand next to her. “Would you like to join me, Merrin?”

She fell into step with Shepard as they moved around the large room with the circular table. When her eyes caught on a circular light below a platform, Merrin couldn’t pull her gaze away. When she stopped, Shepard turned. “What is this?”

“That’s a map of our galaxy.”

“It’s beautiful!  I have never seen anything like it before in my life. How was it created?  A spell?”

“It’s a hologram.” She looked at him in confusion. “It’s a copy of our galaxy using lights and mirrors. I use it to decide where we will go next.”

“Amazing!” Merrin followed him, her head swinging from side to side as she tried to take everything in that she was seeing. People were tapping away at glass, producing results on another pane of glass.  Others were walking around with things in their hands. Shepard must have seen her looking. “Datapads.” he supplied as they continued up a set of stairs.  Along the sides of the walkway sat several people, their uniforms similar to Shepard’s, waving their hands around in front of them, moving see-through objects. Her mind screamed ‘Mage’, but she saw no telltale glow, no hum of energy from them.

“They are running constant calculations and sending them up to the pilot as well as monitoring different instruments that monitor the area around the ship, searching for planets with supplies, and other things.”

They came to a stop behind a man in a chair surrounded by the same orange glass as she had seen before, waving his hands around like the people along the walkway.  

“Joker, this is Merrin, our surprise guest from the Suns’ slave ship. Merrin?  This is Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, affectionately named Joker.”

Merrin bowed, but rose when she heard the Lieutenant mock the Commander. Shepard just laughed. “See? A barrel of laughs.”  She could almost feel the pilot’s eyes rolling in his head.

She looked around again, seeing no window, just gray walls like the rest of the ship.  “Lieutenant?  How can you fly this metal beast if you cannot even see where it is you are going?”

“With my magic powers and pixie dust.”

“Alright, Joker, tune it down a bit.  You’re losing her.”

“Right, right. I can fly using the readings of the objects around the ship.  If there is nothing anywhere around us, I know to go in a straight line. The only reason I have this paneling up because we recently passed by this system’s star. Which reminds me.” The Lieutenant turned to the Commander.  “We’re thirty minutes out from Therum, Commander.”

“Thanks Joker.” Shepard turned to Merrin. “Would you like to join us? Maybe stretch your legs? See a different planet up close?”

She didn’t know where it came from, but the idea of seeing a planet, a new world, excited her and she smiled. “I’d love to!”

Shepard nodded and smiled in return before turning to the side and placing his right hand at his ear. “Alenko.”

“Yes, Commander?”

Merrin jumped when the voice came from behind.  Shepard seemed to have expected something different because he looked surprised to see the Lieutenant behind them. “Sorry, Kaidan.  I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s alright.  I was waiting until you were done talking before I made my presence known. Do you need anything, Shepard?”

“Yeah, we’re about thirty minutes from Therum and Merrin needs armor. I saw the shape her armor was in when we found her, so she will need one of the spare light armors that we have down in the cargo hold. Think you can help her get acclimated in a breather as well before we get there?  I think it would be a good idea for her to take her own weapon for the time being because the crash course in pistols is longer than we have. You had better suit up too.  I don’t know what we will be facing planet side and I will need you down there with me.”

Merrin opened her mouth to speak, wanting to insist that Kaidan wouldn’t want to help her and that she could find her way, when Kaidan beat her to it. “Sure, I’ll be ready. I think I know a good set that would fit her well. Let’s go, Merrin.”

She looked over the group once more before moving ahead of Kaidan to go back to the elevator and waited for the dark haired man to join her. Heat flooded her cheeks as they descended to the cargo bay, their last conversation echoing through her head, rousing the singing from lyrium. ‘The medication Healer Chakwas gave me must have worn off,’ she thought to herself.  Merrin wrapped her arms around her torso to make herself smaller and she closed her eyes to ward off the pain that she could feel building at the base of her skull. 

“Are you alright?”

Merrin turned towards Kaidan, opening her eyes to see concern on his face, and felt surprise. “Yes, ser. It’s just a headache.  It will soon pass. I thank you for your concern on my wellbeing.”

Kaidan sighed. “Look, Merrin.  I’m sorry for the things that I said earlier.  They came out worse than I planned. I still want to be your friend, if you will have me. And I’m glad that you are alright.”

She turned back to the doors as they slowly opened, revealing the cargo bay. “I forgive you, Lieutenant, but you need not apologize. You were right, about everything. I was rude to you, to Gunnery Chief Williams. You deserve better, especially from me, the unknown variable. Perhaps now is not the time for anything else.”

The look of hurt and upset that shone in his eyes made Merrin want to take back her words, but he replaced them with an impassive guise. She did want to be his friend, but it couldn’t be pushed and she needed to adjust herself to this world without help.

The rest of the ride down was made in silence, both lost to their own thoughts. When the doors opened to reveal the cargo bay, Kaidan exited the lift first and moved back towards Chief Williams.

“Hey Ash, where is that spare light armor that was too small for me? We’re about to land on Therum and Shepard wants Merrin to go with us.”

“It’s over in the spare locker with its helmet. Who else is going?” Ashley asked as she moved to the locker she had indicated. Merrin watched Kaidan move towards another locker, open it and pull out a set of black armor and helmet. Both were unlike any armor she had ever worn or seen on Thedas.  Perhaps they were very light weight.

“I don’t know. I don’t suppose anyone else because Merrin and I will be with him.”

“Williams, suit up.  We’ll be moving out in fifteen.” Came Shepard’s disembodied voice. Merrin looked around for the other human, but only saw Wrex, Garrus and a lone human in the opposite corner. 

“Guess that answers that question!”

“Great.  Hey, can you help Merrin put her armor on? For her first time in armor like ours, it might be difficult.”

Merrin turned to Kaidan.  “I think I will be able to figure it out on my own, Lieutenant.” 

“How about I just stand by and answer any questions you might have then, hmm? Would you be okay with that Miss Trevelyan?”

She looked at the other woman who was already applying bits and pieces of her armor to her body. Merrin smiled with a nod. “I thank you, Chief Williams.”

“Are you sure you are best for the job, Ash? You wear heavier armor than she would. Heck, heavier armor than I do.” Kaidan chuckled as he finished putting on underpadding and started on his armor pieces.

“You wear lighter armor than Chief Williams, Lieutenant?” Merrin dragged her gaze up and down his body, her eyes lingering without warning on the way his shirt added tone and texture to his chest and his pants encased his thighs and buttocks oh so nicely.  Merrin shook her head and blushed. That had definitely never happened before. 

He obviously hadn’t noticed that she had oogled him. “Surprisingly yes. It just works better for my class.”

Merrin barely heard him speaking as she removed her breeches, tunic and boots, leaving her in only a breastband and smalls. She quickly put on the tunic and breeches handed to her by a fully armored Williams, not yet comfortable with being mostly bare amidst people she wasn’t yet familiar with. 

The underarmor padding surprised and confused her. It fit her like a leather glove, yet had next to no padding whatsoever.  She was about to ask the two flanking her about it when she looked inside the actual armor pieces and found that the armor had padding sewn onto the different articles of armor. 

“Facinating!” Merrin murmured as she began trying on different parts, feeling the difference between them and figuring out quickly which went where and how.  By the time Shepard arrived, fully armored in the gear she had met him in on the slave ship, Merrin was dressed with weapon in tow.  She had only needed help from the two soldiers on either side of her twice. Once, as she was turning to Ashley to ensure that everything was on correctly, Merrin thought she saw a glimmer of approval shine in Kaidan’s eyes, but she couldn’t be sure.

~//~


End file.
